“Good morning, sweetness!� Derek smiled and handed Penelope one of her favorite frappuccinos. “How about a short break?�

“Derek?� she frowned, turned her head and studied him. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the plane to Addison with the rest of the team?�

“Not this time, baby girl.� he smiled. “Hotch commanded me to stay here, go through some older files. He’ll call me if he needs my help.�

Penelope turned her chair to face him. “Is something wrong?� she wanted to know.

“Not with me.� he shrugged. “But I wonder what’s wrong with you, mama. You never rejected to take a frappuccino from me before.�

Penelope took the paper cup from him and looked at his grinning face. “Gorgeous, don’t lie to me!� she said. “If there was nothing wrong, Hotch wouldn’t have left you here behind. Did something happen on the last case? I mean, something you haven’t told me yet?�

“No, it was a normal case.� he replied. “Just like any other.�

“Then what is it?� Penelope studied him again, longer this time. “You look exhausted.� she finally noted. “Are you ill?�

“I’m fine.� Derek reassured her and leant against her desk. “I’m just… a little tired, that’s all.�

“Tired?� she rose both her eyebrows. “Your last case has been about one week ago and as you said it wasn’t even a hard one. So what’s wrong with you?�

Derek sighed and looked at the cup in his hand for a few moments. Then he shrugged and without looking at her explained: “I… just didn’t sleep very well recently.�

Penelope rolled over to him in her chair so that she was right in front of him and he had to look at her. “Why?� she simply asked.

Derek looked into her eyes and tried to give her a smile. “Seems insomnia is contagious.�

“This is not funny, Derek.� she insisted. “You look like you haven’t slept for at least one week. You’re worn out, otherwise Hotch wouldn’t have left you here behind. Tell me what’s wrong!�

“Can’t we just have a little break?� he asked. “I wanted to invite you to lunch.�

“Why don’t you talk to me?� she whispered.

“Come on, baby girl, I’m fine.� Derek assured. “I’m maybe just a little overworked. This pause from flying around will probably be enough to get me back to my normal self.�

“Did you tell Hotch?� Penelope wanted to know.
Derek just looked down and sighed.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk to me.� she softly said. “But you have to talk to anyone. Please, Derek, I’m worried about you.�

“You don’t need to be.� he smiled. “And now let us break for lunch!�

She sighed and nodded unwillingly.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Penelope was woken up from a not exactly peaceful dream when her phone rang. Frowning she looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table: 3.46 a.m. The team probably needed her help on the case sooner than she’d expected.

“This better be really important!� she said into the phone.

He was angry with himself when he heard her voice. He had dialed the number before he’d been really awoken from that nightmare.

The slight smile on Penelope’s face disappeared when the caller didn’t say anything. “Hello?� she asked in concern. She could have sworn she heard a familiar sigh on the other end: “Derek, is it you?�

“Yeah� he finally replied. “sorry, baby girl, I didn’t want to wake you up…�

All her warning bells were ringing and she rose to a sitting position. “What’s wrong?� she asked in obvious concern.

“Nothing, I… I just had to call you to make sure that you… um… I… I had a nightmare.� she could practically hear him running his hand over his face.

“Is that what has kept you up during the past nights?� she softly asked. She was sure she already knew the answer.

“Um… yeah… somehow.� he replied in a low voice. “Sugar, I’m really sorry… I shouldn’t have called you that late at night. Just forget about it.�

“I can’t.� she declared. The tone in his voice frightened her even more than the fact that he’d called her in the middle of the night. “I’ll come over.�

“N… No… I mean… you don’t need to… I’m… I’m fine.� he stumbled in shock about her words.

“Don’t argue with me, gorgeous.� she softly said. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.� Penelope hung up, rushed out of her bed and got dressed as quickly as possible. Only ten minutes later she was heading to his apartment. Her heart panted faster the closer she got there. Maybe this really wasn’t the best idea and maybe he really was fine… No, he wasn’t. She could have told from the sound of his voice. And besides he’d done the same for her.

Derek smiled when he opened the door. “Hey, mama� he gently said. “you really didn’t need to come here and check on me. It was… just a nightmare.�

“Must have been a real horrifying one.� she mumbled and studied his face. He looked even more exhausted than he’d done around noon. “Tell me about it!� she requested.

Derek let her in and they both sat down on the couch. “I… I can’t…� he simply replied and looked down at his hands.

Penelope rose her eyebrow. She would have expected something more creative than that. “Why not?� she whispered.

He didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“Hey� she sat a little closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “you can tell me everything, you know that. I swear nothing spoken in this room will ever leave it.�

“I know.� he still avoided her eyes. “It’s not about that.�

“Then what’s it about?� she insisted.

“It’s… I…� Derek took a deep breath. “I can’t tell you.�

“Why not?� she cupped his face in both her hands and forced him to look at her. His eyes were filled with concern and she could almost read his thoughts. Her jaw dropped. “It was… about… me?� she whispered.

Derek withdrew from her turning so that he was looking at the coffee table. He didn’t answer.

“Derek� she reached out to touch him but rejected that plan. “what… since when do you have these dreams?�

He shrugged: “Since… Miller.�

She swallowed hard being remembered of her fight with Deputy Miller and the thirteen hours she’d spent in that bunker – and the fact that she’d died by a hair. “What… are they about?� she asked quietly.

Derek propped his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands. “I… In my dream we… we don’t make it.� he whispered. “You’re in the bunker again or… well, anywhere else and every time… we’re too late. I… I see you dying, every night. Not only in that bunker but… in all imaginable ways.�

Now Penelope put her hand on his shoulder and kneaded it gently. “I’m here, beautiful.� she softly said. “I’m alive.�

“I know.� he replied almost not audible.

“Look at me, gorgeous.� she commanded in a low voice.

Hesitantly he turned his head to face her. Then suddenly he jumped at her and held her as tight as possible, almost crushing her. “I… I thought I lost you. When… I pulled you out of that bunker and… you weren’t breathing… your… your heart had stopped beating and I… I thought we were too late.�

“But you started CPR.� she reminded him. “You saved my life.�

“I almost lost you.� he whispered.

“That’s the good thing about it.� she smiled slightly. “Almost doesn’t count.�

He nodded and drew in a deep shaky breath. For a long time they just sat on his couch holding each other, their bodies as close as humanly possible.

“What can I do to make you feel better, gorgeous?� she finally asked and stroke his back,

“Just…� he stopped, breathed deeply and whispered. “Just stay here with me! I… I need to be sure you’re… still there.�

“Okay� she replied equally voicelessly. “I’m here, sugar, and I won’t leave, I promise.�

“How many names do you have?� Hotch answered his phone. This case was getting more and more annoying. For three weeks the unsub was constantly one step ahead of them. Their first suspect had been one of the police officers. But when another child was abducted while verifiably all police officers had searched the nearby wood for the body of Amelia Harris, the second victim since they’d arrived here.

“Twenty-four, Sir� Penelope replied. “I’m sorry, but with the few information you gave me I wasn’t able to narrow the list down very much.�

Hotch sighed. “Send it to me, anyway. We’re going to spend the rest of our lives here if we can’t find him anytime soon.�

“You’ll receive the list of names in five, four, three, two, one… now!� she replied.

“Thanks, Garcia.� Hotch frowned and glanced at the sheet of paper the fax had just printed. “How’s Morgan?�

“Better, I guess.� she replied. “At least he looks better… um… more… rested.�

“Did he talk to you?� he carefully asked.

Penelope hesitated. She wasn’t sure how to answer that question. She’d promised Derek not to tell anyone what he’d told her but she also didn’t want to lie to Hotch.

“I don’t want to know what he told you.� Hotch assured when she didn’t give him a response. “I’m just worried about him. If he talked to you I would be… relieved.�

“Yes, he did talk to me.� she quietly answered.

“Good� Hotch sighed again. “I need the members of my team rested and fir for service.�

“I know.� she answered. “I… I’ll make sure he gets enough… rest.�

“I hope you’ll be able to do so.� Hotch handed the list to Emily who went back to Reid and JJ into the provisory briefing room. “We work better with the entire team on the spot.�

“He’ll be fine.� Penelope assured in a low voice. She really hoped she wasn’t wrong about that. Anyhow he really was more rested than he’d been when the team had left. “I’ll make sure he will.�

Hotch frowned. “I know you and Morgan are close friends and I don’t want to question your skills of taking care of him. But maybe he should… consult our psychologist.�

“I’m rather sure he’ll decline to do so but I’ll propose that to him anyway.� she smiled slightly. Maybe the psychologist really wasn’t the worst idea. But she was sure she wouldn’t be able to talk him into it.

“Hey, beautiful, how about some Chinese food for lunch?!� Derek smiled and held a carton with the emblem of her favorite Chinese restaurant out to her.

“Derek� he heard Hotch’s voice coming from the speaker. “you sound… really rested.�

“I am� Derek nodded and smiled at Penelope who was scenting the aroma of the food and appreciatively closing her eyes. “I slept quite well during the last nights.�

Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at him almost in shock. Hotch would certainly want to know what had made him sleep tight during the last three weeks – and they couldn’t tell him that it had been her presence.

“Sir, we found Cameron Slaughter’s body.� an officer told Hotch.

He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. “I’ll call you back.� he told his two co-workers and hung up. He went into the briefing room and declared: “Cameron Slaughter’s body has been found. Prentiss, we’ll examine the crime seen. Reid, JJ, here’s a list of new suspects Garcia sent us. Start questioning them!�

“We really could need Derek’s help.� JJ mumbled.
“Agent Morgan is suspended from field work until further notice.� Hotch replied. “He’ll help us over the phone.�

“What’s wrong with him?� JJ wanted to know.

Hotch frowned and gave her a deprecating stare. “Agent Morgan is not fully serviceable at the moment.�

“He looked tired recently.� Emily agreed. “But is it really that bad? I mean, he could really help us with that case and as far as I can judge we need all help that we can get.�

“Agent Prentiss, my decision is fixed so don’t question it! And now we will examine the crime scene.� he commanded. “And you� he pointed at JJ and Reid. “are going to question every man from the list Garcia sent us, now! We mustn’t loose any more time. The sooner we get any closer to the unsub the better!�

“Yes, Sir.� the three agents mumbled and left the room.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Both Penelope and Derek were relieved that Hotch had been prevented from asking any further questions and they both hoped he’d have forgotten all about that talk the next time he called one of them.

They finished their lunch in complete silence. Finally Penelope set aside the carton of her meal and took a deep breath.

“Derek, things can’t remain that way.� she stated and looked at him.

“What… do you mean?� he asked in confusion and concern.

Penelope sighed: “I can’t spend every night with you. I mean, it’s not that I… don’t… want to help you but… This can’t be the only way to keep you from having nightmares.�

His heart sank together with his head. “I know.� he simply replied. He’d known she would say that one day – he couldn’t even believe that it had taken her three weeks.

“Why is that such a burden for you?� she softly asked.

Derek raised his head and gave her a puzzled look: “You’re my best friend and I… you almost died. How should that not be a burden for me?�

“It wasn’t that much of a burden when it happened to Spencer.� she carefully reminded him.

“That was…� Derek stared at her and then looked down. “different.�

“Why?� she wanted to know. “Why was it different with him being… a victim?�

“Because this was not my fault.� he whispered.

Penelope frowned and opened her mouth to say something. But she was too baffled to formulate a proper sentence. But when he refused to say anything in addition she finally said: “What happened to me wasn’t your fault either.�

“Yes, it was.� he replied without looking at her. “Miller was with us almost the whole time and we didn’t notice it was him. We didn’t even consider him a suspect. Hell, I… I told him almost everything about you. I praised your computer skills and what you are able to find out with the help of your babies. He heard us talk to each other on the speaker and… damn I… I even gave him your name. The reason he was going after you was… me.�

“This was not your fault.� she softly repeated. “You couldn’t know it was him.�

“We let him through this goddamn road block while you were most certainly in his trunk. We… we could have saved you then. You wouldn’t have need to go through all this, spending more than twelve hours in that bunker almost… almost dying if we’d just realized it was him!� he had jumped off his seat and was now pacing the room.

“As I said you couldn’t have known.� she repeated trying to stay as calm as possible hoping this would calm him down. “He was really smart, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to… do this for more than ten years.�

“He almost killed you because I endangered you.� Derek almost shouted at her. “I… I’d sworn myself to protect you, to keep you out of all this.�

“You know that this can happen to anyone of us anytime.� she reminded him.

“But it should never have happened to you.� he shook his head as if to support his words and voicelessly repeated: “Not to you.�

“I appreciate that you care that much about me.� she answered. “But why does that psyche you out so much you can’t sleep at night.�

He stopped and turned to look at her. “Because I love you!� the words had escaped his mouth before he was able to stop them.

“Because I love you!� the words had escaped his mouth before he was able to stop them.

Penelope’s jaw dropped. Was she hard of hearing or had Derek Morgan, the Derek Morgan, just said he loved her?

For a few seconds they were staring at each other both equally in shock about what he’d just said. Then Derek turned away from her and stumbled: “I… I’m sorry, I… should go now.�

Before Penelope could stop him Derek had left her office shutting the door behind him. When her lungs suddenly screamed for air she realized that she had stopped breathing. She drew in a deep breath and stood up, her legs shaking. She paced her office for quite a while unable to settle her thoughts. Why had he said that? Derek wasn’t somebody who fell in love with a woman – especially not with a woman like her. He wanted adventures, no strings attached. So why on earth had he told her he loved her? Maybe he did. And if he did… then what? What would happen now? What if they tried to have a relationship and it turned out to have been a bad idea? That would definitely ruin their friendship. Nothing between them would ever be the same again. Penelope had been in love with him for such a long time but never had she considered that he would feel the same for her.

Finally she sighed and left her office to look for him. But she was unable to find him anywhere in the building. The receptionist told her that he’d left about an hour ago. Had she really been pacing her office that long?

Penelope returned to her inner sanctum and shut her babies down. Sitting in her car she waited for about half an hour dithery of what to do now. Should she go to see him? Did he even want to see her, want to talk to her? Maybe he didn’t mean to say it, maybe he didn’t even mean it. Eventually Penelope decided that she’d never find out if she kept sitting here for the rest of the night.

He opened the door and let her in without saying something. They sat down on the couch and were silent for a couple of minutes both staring at their hands, none of them knowing what to say. After a while Penelope broke the silence and asked in a low voice: “Do you… regret that you said it?�

“It depends.� he shrugged.

“On what?� her voice was higher than normal and slightly shaking.

Derek raised his head and looked at her, studying her dark brown eyes. “On your reaction.� he replied. His heart sank when she sighed and looked down. She obviously wasn’t sharing his feelings and he had most likely wrecked their friendship by telling her what he felt.

“Derek, you… you don’t have relationships.� she whispered.

Derek rose both his eyebrows and gave her a puzzled look: “Come again?�

She looked back into his eyes and said: “You only have one-night-stands, not relationships. So… what do you… want from me?�

“You… you think I just want to have sex with you?� he almost shouted these words. But he couldn’t blame her for that, it was his own fault.

Penelope smiled and a single tear ran down her cheek. “You’re going to break my heart, right?� she whispered.

“No� Derek took her hands in his and looked straight into her eyes. “I’d rather die than hurt you, baby girl. I… I know I hardly ever had anything with any woman that lasted long enough to be called a relationship but… I didn’t love these women. I mean, I was sure I couldn’t love anyone. I didn’t even want to fall in love with anyone. I didn’t want anyone getting that close to me. But somehow… I have no idea how you did that but… you managed to get behind the walls I had build around me. No one ever made that.�

She didn’t answer, not sure what to make out of his words.

“I love you.� he assured in a low voice. “Why is it that hard for you to believe that?� He hoped his disappointment wasn’t too obvious.

“Please, don’t do that to me.� she whispered.

“What are you talking about?� he asked even more puzzled.

“You needed me and I was glad to be there for you.� she replied. “But I… I can’t spend a few nights with you and then pretend nothing ever happened. You simply mean too much to me. For almost two years now I’ve been trying to persuade myself that it’s daffy, that you’ll never feel the same for me.�

He gently stroked her cheek and forced her to look at him again. He couldn’t quite believe what she’d just said. Did she actually tell him she was in love with him? “What if I do feel the same?� he whispered.

“Please, don’t fool me!� she sobbed. “Don’t play with me!�

“I would never ever do that.� he reassured her.

She remained silent for a while and then asked hesitantly: “Why, Derek… why… do you want me?�

“Because you are the best that ever happened to me. Because you are the most phenomenal woman I’ve ever met. Because you are smart and beautiful and…�

She snorted: “Beautiful.�

“Yes, you are!� he insisted.

Penelope shook her head and asked mockingly: “Did you look at me lately?�

“I did.� Derek nodded. “I look at you every single day even if you don’t notice – and to me you are beautiful.�

“I’ve seen the women you usually have the hots for.� she replied. “And they’re nothing like me!�

“That’s right.� he agreed. “They are not half as smart as you are, not half as funny as you are and most of all none of them has such a good heart as you have.�

She blushed and tears ran down her cheeks. Why couldn’t she just believe in his words, trust him? Well, because he was the most handsome man on this planet and she was a geek.

“I know it’s my fault you can’t trust me.� Derek declared. “And I’m sorry for that. All these women… and by the way I haven’t had sex with all of them. But if I did it was just because I… somehow needed their nearness and the affirmation that I’m attractive to them. Pretty pathetic, I know.�

“No, it’s just comprehensible.� she whispered and reached out to stroke his cheek.

Derek smiled, put his hand over hers and leant into the soft touch: “See, that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You are the only person in the universe who would say something like that to such a confession. I don’t know how you do this but… All these women weren’t able to warm me no matter what they did. But a single touch of you, like that one, makes me feel warm and save. I need you here with me, baby girl.�

“And I would like to stay.� she whispered.

Slowly Derek leaned over to her and Penelope’s heart beat that fast that she feared it might jump out of her chest the next second. She cringed and gasped: “Please, don’t.�

“What’s wrong?� he asked and gave her a baffled look. “I… I thought you wanted this.�

“I do.� she assured him. “It’s just… I… I think my heart will stop beating any moment.�

He smiled and leant over once again. “It won’t� he whispered. “trust me!�

“Oh, God!� she panted and let out a satisfied sigh the moment his lips met with hers. This kiss was so soft that at the first moment she wasn’t really sure this was real. But then he leant down closer to her, she parted her lips and allowed the kiss to become more passionate. How long had she been dreaming of this moment – and it was even better than she’d ever imagined.

Derek broke the kiss and smiled: “See, nothing happened.�

Penelope smirked: “You think that would be the same with the next kiss?�

Grinning he replied: “Maybe we should give it a try.�

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Derek gently kissed her forehead, her nose and than her mouth. He paused appalled and looked down to her. Tears were running over her cheeks. Did he hurt her? He’d tried to be as gentle as possible but… Should he really have hurt her? He’d rather die. “Penelope, what’s wrong?� he asked in concern.

“Nothing� she assured. “I’m fine.�

“Then why are you crying?� he wanted to know. “Do I… hurt you?�

“No.� she whispered. “I’m fine, really. It’s just… I’ve never been so happy before. That’s all.�

He sighed with relief and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Penelope.� he whispered.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. More tears ran down her cheeks when she saw the truth of his words in his eyes. “I love you, Derek.�

He locked eyes with her and smiled. He was unable to avert his gaze from her beautiful dark eyes and the love he could see in them.

He clasped her in his arms and gently stroked her back. After a long while their breathing finally calmed down and Derek whispered: “I love you.�

She raised her head and looked into his smiling face. Never had she imagined he would say these words to her – and now it seemed he couldn’t stop saying them just like herself. She felt like a teenager in love for the first time. “I love you.� she giggled.

“What’s so funny?� he wanted to know.

“Nothing.� she replied. “It’s just… well… this is somehow like a kitschy love story.�

“Kitschy, huh?� he asked with mocked outrage. “Does that mean you want more action?�

She shrieked when he suddenly threw her around so that he was on top of her. “You are really oversexed, right?�

He smirked: “You have no idea!�

Penelope was startled out of her peaceful sleep when the phone rang. Half asleep she felt around the bedside table for the phone and mumbled: “Garcia?�

After a few seconds an obviously puzzled voice said: “Garcia? This is… Hotchner. Where… um… I wanted to talk to Derek.�

Oh, my goodness! Did she really just pick up Derek’s phone obviously half asleep?! “I… I’ll go and see if I can find him.� She waited a few seconds before she handed the phone to the man next to her, her mouth forming a silent ‘Hotch’.

He cleared his throat and tried to speak as if Garcia answering his phone was the most normal thing to happen. “Hotch, what can I do for you?�

Penelope ran her hand over her face awfully embarrassed. She couldn’t believe this had happened. When she’d picked up the phone she hadn’t even thought about where she was.

“I thought you’d already be in the bureau.� Hotch stated.

“Well, Penelope helped me with the old case files yesterday and it got quite late so I convinced her to stay here.� he lied. “She’d stayed up the whole past three days so I figured I’d rather let her get some more sleep. She seemed a little worn out.� he grinned at her.

Penelope’s eyes widened and she poked him in the ribs.

“I understand.� Hotch frowned. “I just need your advice concerning the profile. It doesn’t seem to apply for any of our suspects.�

“Get cracking!� Derek answered.

Penelope prepared to get out of Derek’s bed, pulling the sheets she had wrapped around her to cover her otherwise naked body with her.

Derek reached out and grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving his bed.

She turned and faced him. From the expression on his face she could tell what he planned to do and blushed slightly. But she crawled back to him into the warm cottony bed.

Happily Derek wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close to him while he was listening to Hotch’s profile and the information they’d gotten about the twenty-four men on the list of suspects. Finally he said: “I think you should question Lewis, Caldwell and Clerk again. Their answers seem contrived.�

“Thanks, Morgan, anything we should pay special attention to?� he asked.

“They all have a criminal record as child abusers.� Derek frowned. “Ask them about the therapy. The unsub won’t admit that he’s still teased by children to avoid appearing suspicious.�

“Seems you’re back to your old self again.� Hotch stated.

“I am.� he nodded smiling at the woman in his arms. Thanks to some very fortunate circumstances. “I’ve never slept better than last night.�

Penelope’s blush deepened at his words and she giggled quietly.

“That’s good news.� the corners of Hotch’s mouth rose a tiny bit.

“So, does that mean I’m… officially back in the field?� he wasn’t sure whether he liked the idea of that or not. As much as he wanted to be out in the field with his team he didn’t want to leave Penelope, at least not that soon.

“For the next case.� Hotch replied. “We’re close in on him, I know that. We already considered the three suspects you named suspicious but I wanted a second opinion. I’ll call you again after we have questioned the three suspects.� With that he hung up.

Derek smirked and gave Penelope a long, passionate, mind-blowing kiss. “Well, goddess, what do you think should we do now?�

“Get up, take a shower, get dressed and go to work.� she answered.

Derek chuckled: “I’m eminently interested in the part with the shower.�

“No way� she slightly bashed his chest. “I’m not going to shower with you.�

His throat produced a sound of disappointment.

“As you said, you wore me out.� she grinned and rushed out of his bed and into his bathroom.

Derek sighed and followed her. Just because she rejected didn’t mean he couldn’t at least try to talk her into it. “Is there a chance that there’s still some energy left in that stunningly beautiful body of yours?�

“I will not shower with you.� she repeated and threw a towel at him. “Out!� She stepped into the shower and closed the door.

Without being asked he followed her.

“Derek…� she wanted to chastise him but when his mouth covered hers and his body pressed hers against the wall she’d entirely forgotten why she’d rejected this.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

“They finally arrested that bastard.� Derek said when he entered her office. “They’re heading back home now.�

“That’s great.� she smiled.

Derek pulled her out of her chair and into a close embrace. “That means there’s nothing we can do anymore.� he leaned down to kiss her.

Penelope cringed and gave him a deprecating stare: “I have to fix one of my babies. Someone in the bureau thought I needed a new uber-password-cracking software and without my permission a technician installed it – and he really screwed things up.�

“Can’t you put that off at least an hour or so?� he asked and gently nibbled at her neck.

“No way, lady-killer.� she giggled. “Not here in my office!�

“We could go anywhere else.� he shrugged continuing to caress her neck.

Penelope screwed her eyes and turned to her computers: “Grant me a little rest, will you?�

“Only involuntarily.� he grinned at her and grabbed her from behind whispering in her ear. “I just can’t take my hands off you.�

“So that’s all you want� she teased him. “my body.�

“Oh, baby girl, I want so much more.� he replied in the most seductive voice. “But I love the sound of you calling out my name.�

“Derek!� she shrieked and pushed him away.

He chuckled: “Well, that was not exactly the sound I had in mind.�

Her phone rang and she quickly answered it: “Penelope Garcia, little requests will be fulfilled immediately, miracles last a little longer.�

“Garcia, this is Hotchner.� the familiar voice said. “We’ve just landed and are now heading for the bureau. I want to see you and Morgan in my office in half an hour!�

Penelope looked at the man behind her in shock. Then she stumbled: “Yes… Sir… we’ll be there.� she heard the clicking sound when he hung up.

After a few seconds of staring at the phone she finally turned to Derek and whispered: “Do you… think he knows?�

“I don’t know.� he shrugged.

Penelope cleared her throat and looked down. “What if… he does? I mean, do you want the rest of the team to know?�

“I… um… I don’t know.� he repeated and looked down.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?� she became angry but tried to stay calm. She didn’t want to fight with him.

“Well, if you… don’t want to tell them, than I agree. And if you want to…�

“No� she interrupted him. “don’t make me responsible for this!�

“I’m just saying.� he gave her an innocent smile.

“What… will they think about it? Us, I mean.� Penelope asked in a whisper.

Derek went over to her and locked her in his arms. “I don’t care what they think about this.� he assured in a low voice. “I love you.�

Penelope smiled and leant her head against his chest. “You know, it’s not that I don’t want them to know but… I… I somehow wonder how long it takes them to figure it out.� she giggled against his chest and closed her eyes. His embrace was so soothing.

“I must admit, I like the idea of a secret office romance.� he chuckled.

“Maybe we should condition the answer to that question on whether Hotch already knows or not.� Penelope suggested.

Thirty minutes later Penelope and Derek were sitting in front of their frowning boss. Penelope shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Derek sat next to her, his legs restless.

“You know that I usually stay out of the lives of my agents.� Hotch finally said. “But I don’t like it when they lie to me.�

The two agents bandied concerned looks none of them sure what to reply.

Hotch sighed and slightly leant over his desk: “Derek, are you really sure that these nightmares won’t return?�

Derek raised his eyebrows and stammered: “What… do you mean?�

“You can’t do your work appropriately if you’re unable to sleep during the next case.� Hotch looked at him as if he tried to read his mind. “So I have to make sure that you are really back to your old self.�

Both Penelope and Derek sighed with relief and relaxed. Derek smiled: “I really am.�

“Garcia� he turned to the analyst. “you probably know Derek better than I do. What do you think, is he fully serviceable again?�

“In my opinion, he is.� she nodded.

Hotch frowned even more and looked back at Derek: “Nonetheless I want you to see our psychologist.�

“I already did.� Derek quickly answered. “Go, ask her! I’ve seen her this morning, told her about the nightmares and that they are gone. She can certify that I’m not affected by any nightmares or other sleep disorders anymore.� Well, except for Penelope he thought and couldn’t help leering at her which almost made her eyes pop out of her head.

Fortunately Hotch didn’t notice for he was calling the psychologist. He didn’t want to mistrust Derek but he had to make sure he told him the truth and he was really alright. After a few minutes Hotch hung up and smiled at the two agents. “The reason why I wanted both of you to be here is…�

Penelope’s heart beat faster. He knew it, she was sure he knew it. Her answering Derek’s phone this morning… What would he think about it?

“… I know that you worked really hard during the last weeks – at least as hard as we did. I ordered the rest of the team to take a few days off and I want you to do the same.�

“Th… Thank you, Sir.� Penelope replied relieved as well as slightly confused.

“You don’t need to show up until next Monday – unless we have a very urgent case.�

“Thanks, Hotch.� Derek smiled. He so knew how to spend these six days off.

“So do you have any plans for the next days?� Penelope asked when they arrived at his apartment.

“Yup� Derek smiled. “my mother celebrates her birthday on Friday. And I thought these days off were a good chance to visit her again.�

“That sounds great.� Penelope smiled and tried to keep the sadness out of her voice. She’d wished to spend these days with him. But she could understand that he favored spending this time with his family. “When are you leaving?�

“We are leaving the day after tomorrow at nine p.m.� he explained. “Unfortunately I couldn’t get an earlier flight.�

Penelope gave him a perplexed look: “We?�

“Of course, hot stuff.� he smiled and stole a wet kiss from her. “I want to spend these days off with you but I can’t ignore the family matters. So I considered to connect the good things to the necessary ones.�

“I… I can’t come to your mother’s birthday party.� she rejected. “I mean, as you said this is a family matter and I don’t want to…�

“I already told my mom you’re coming.� he interrupted her. “You can’t cancel on her now, she’s expecting both of us to be there.�

Penelope bashed his arm. “You could at least have asked me beforehand.�

“I knew you would reject.� he shrugged. “That’s why I decided to buy the tickets and tell my mom that we’re coming and then ask you about it.�

“That is not at all fair.� she complained.

“I know� he shrugged. “but I wanted to have you with me at all costs. You’ve been a member of my family before and you are now more than ever.�

“I… um…� she looked down and sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to come with you or be at your mom’s birthday party but… You know, this whole family thing is quite new to me. I… I’m not really used to this.�

“May I ask you why?� he softly asked.

Penelope shrugged: “I… I lost both my parents when I was pretty young and… well, my brothers and I, we’re not really close, so… I haven’t really had family celebrations for quite a while.�

Derek suddenly became very angry with himself. Why had he never recognized this? Why hadn’t he paid any attention? She’d been lonely for so long and he’d never noticed.

He stepped closer and asked: “Not even Christmas or something?�

She simply shook her head. “I’ve watched movies and sometimes I’ve even gone out. And… well, sometimes I’ve just worked a little, fixed my babies and stuff.�

“Why did you never tell me?� he wanted to know. “You could have…�

“It’s okay, Derek� she interrupted him. “really. I got used to being alone. The problem is that… now I don’t know if I can get used to… not being alone.�

Derek clasped her in his arms and slightly swayed her back and forth. “Can I do something to help you with that?�

“You are already helping me.� she whispered and closed her eyes.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

“I’m so sorry.� Fran said while she was pacing the room collecting her things. “I was sure I had bought everything I need for this evening. I can’t believe I forgot the wine.�

“Relax, mom. It’s not that bad.� Derek smiled. He was sitting next to Penelope on the couch, their cups of coffee in front of them.

“I wanted to have breakfast with you.� she sighed. “And now I have to go shopping – again.�

“We could do that.� Penelope offered.

Fran stopped and smiled at her: “Thanks, Penelope, that’s really nice. But you should have breakfast now and besides I forgot the wine not you.� She shook her head and hurried to the door. “I prepared eggs, toast and pancakes for you.� she told them and closed the door.

Derek got up and left the room. After only a few seconds he returned with two plates and handed one to the woman on the couch. His woman. His heart leapt at that thought. He knew Penelope loved pancakes with chocolate sauce so he had asked her mother to buy some when he had told her they’d come to her birthday party.

They ate their pancakes in silence both dwelling on their own thoughts. They’d arrived at half past nine yesterday thanks to the time difference and had at least been able to spend the last few hours of Fran’s birthday. But Derek had refused to give her the present already saying it was a present from the whole family – Penelope included. His sister Sara had had the idea of paying their mother a nice holiday in Egypt, one of Fran’s favorite countries she’d not yet managed to visit, and they’d all agreed this was the perfect gift. Thanks to Penelope’s marvelous skills and connections they’d picked the best motel and ordered several round trips.

“Well� Derek placed his plate on the coffee table and cleaned his hands with a napkin. “although it’s a pity mom can’t have breakfast with us, I appreciate the fact that we’ve some time on our own.� Smiling mischievously Derek leaned over to her and captured her mouth with his. He could feel her smile and then hear the soft moan when her lips finally parted allowing him to deepen the kiss. He pulled her closer and soon they were caught in a deep passionate kiss.

Penelope let her fingernails scratch up and down Derek’s neck. She knew what this did to him and giggled when he growled. She just loved it when he was making that sound.

Derek made her lie back on the couch so that he was on top of her, their lips never breaking up. His hand gently ran up and down her thigh pushing the black skirt she was wearing higher and higher.

“Derek� she panted. “we… we shouldn’t do this right now. I… I mean… not here.�

“Relax� he chuckled. “the shopping will take mom quite a while. She won’t be back very soon.� his hand started undoing the buttons of that beautiful tartan jacket she was wearing.

“Nonetheless, I think we shouldn’t… oh, my God!� she drew in a sharp breath when his hand found a very sensitive spot of her body. This was definitely not fair. He knew too well how to convince her not to resist whatever he intended to do. During the past few days Derek had made her feel things she never knew she was able to feel – and it was getting better and better.

He grinned triumphing. He knew he had her, she wouldn’t refuse any longer since his touch had banished all thoughts from her mind. He brushed the jacket off of her and immediately started to undo her blouse. All those buttons were so annoying but he couldn’t just rip the blouse off of her for she would surely kick his ass. On the other hand he loved the pleasurable sounds she was making while he slowly – even more slowly than necessary – undid those buttons letting his lips cover every tiny bit of skin he revealed with soft kisses. His heart leapt every time she granted him to touch her. He still couldn’t quite believe this was real.

Penelope closed her eyes and laid back against the pillow biting her lower lip with a delightful smile. As much as she was concerned about the fact that they were about doing it on Derek’s mother’s couch she couldn’t tell him to stop. This just felt much too good. Her blouse was almost completely unbuttoned now and Derek started to tease her belly button with his tongue. It had only taken him a few nights to find out what she liked – really liked.

A pleasurable moan escaped her mouth and he smiled. He knew too well what made her moan or sigh or even scream. That was a sound he exceptionally liked to hear. After he’d finally unbuttoned the blouse Derek’s hand was on her thigh again, moving higher and higher while his mouth was still on its way to the opposite direction. He’d almost reached his aim and was so busy pleasing Penelope that he didn’t even hear the door being opened.

“Go figure� Fran laughed when she entered the house. “I was already at the mall when I realized I didn’t have my wallet with me. Luckily I noticed it before I head bought something. That would have been embarrassing. Somehow it seems that is not exactly my day.�

Derek jumped up staring at the half-naked woman lying in front of him. Then he turned to look at his mother over the backrest of the sofa.

Fran grabbed her wallet from the sideboard in the corridor and put it in her purse. Laughingly shaking her head she turned to the living room. “I wonder what will go wrong next. If this day goes on like that I’ll never… What’s wrong?� her smile disappeared when she saw the strange expression on her son’s face. He was sitting on the couch staring at her as if she’d caught him with his hand in the cookie box. Fran glanced around and then asked: “Where’s Penelope?�

Derek swallowed hard, looked down to the couch and then back at his mother. It seemed he didn’t know what to respond. Finally he opened his mouth but was unable to formulate a meaningful sentence. “I… um… she… we…� he stumbled.

“Did you have a fight or something?� Fran wanted to know. “Or is she feeling unwell? Where on earth is she?�

Derek shook his head at his mother’s first two questions but wasn’t able to answer the third one. What should he tell her? That Penelope was lying in front of him on the couch desperately trying to fasten up the blouse he’d just unbuttoned?

“Derek, what’s going on?� Fran asked now in great concern and stepped closer. “You’re scaring me! What happened? Where is Penelope?�

Slowly the young woman rose from the couch and turned to Fran. Her right hand digging into her blouse to keep it closed she tried to smile and sheepishly waved at the puzzled woman in the corridor.

“Oh, my…� Fran whispered, blushed and turned away terribly ashamed. “I’m so sorry, I… I didn’t mean to… I’m off!� she rushed out of the door.

Penelope bit her lower lip and looked at Derek at a loss.

He stared at her still in shock for a moment. Then he suddenly burst out in laughter.

She frowned and gave him a puzzled look: “What’s so funny.�

“Well� he was still laughing heartily. “I think I’ve never been caught red-handed with a girl by my mother before.�

Penelope gave him another puzzled look before his words penetrated her brain. Then she snorted with laughter herself.

After a while they calmed down and looked at each other. Penelope had let go of her blouse which now allowed him to see her pale skin and the beautiful black bra with the front-clasp. He couldn’t stop the obvious reactions of his body to this sight. Derek smirked and asked in a seductive voice: “Well, baby girl, where did we break off?�

“Derek!� she playfully chastised him.

He chuckled and leaned over to her. Soon they were lost in another passionate longing kiss, their tongues dueling with each other. Derek undid the few buttons of her blouse she’d managed to fasten and quickly removed the cloth.

“Not… here…� Penelope managed to whisper between pants.

Derek smiled, picked her up and grabbed the chocolate sauce from the coffee table.

“What are you going to do with that?� she whispered.

“Oh, I have a lot of things in mind.� he chuckled and quickly carried her upstairs to his room. He kicked the door closed and practically threw her onto his bed.

“So, when do you tell me about him?� JJ asked and conspiratorially brought her chair closer to her best friend.

Penelope frowned and without looking away from her computers asked: “Whom?�

JJ grinned: “Your new boyfriend.�

Penelope’s fingers stopped for a moment flying over the keyboard. Then she went on typing: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.� JJ had already asked Penelope about her new ‘love interest’ as the younger agent kept calling him several times but Penelope had refused to answer her questions ever since. She started to wonder when the rest of the team would figure it out. It was not that they were really trying to hide it. Alright, they didn’t kiss in public but they kept flirting and leering at one another whenever they were in one room but no one seemed to notice. They’d even done it in her office – although Penelope had sworn herself not to let Derek make her do this – and on the plane when they’d been flying home from another case where Hotch needed her on the spot to crack the computer system of an unsub they’d shot when they’d tried to arrest him. It had taken her three days to find what Hotch was looking for: The addresses of the brothels that guy had sold illegal immigrants from Mexico and other countries to. She’d spent every night in Derek’s hotel room but again their co-workers had taken no notice of that. Penelope had started to think that they could as well do it right in front of their eyes and still none of them would consider Derek and her being an item.

“Come on, Pen!� JJ rolled her eyes. “For two months you are grinning from ear to ear and almost every time I step in here you are humming.�

“I’m not humming.� she objected.

“Yes, you are!� JJ made Penelope turn to her. “Come on, tell me about him! I want to know every tiny detail!�

Penelope broke away from the other blonde and turned back to her babies. “Honestly, there… there is not much to tell.� she felt a sudden sadness coming up inside her. How much did she want to tell JJ everything about her and Derek! But Derek kept saying he first wanted to tell Hotch. The point was he never did.

JJ gave the analyst in front of her a sad look. She’d thought they were best friends telling each other pretty much everything. She’d even talked to Penelope about her date with the little genius and how he seemed jealous at the case in New Orleans every time JJ had talked to detective LaMontagne. And now Penelope refused to tell her about her new love interest. “Why don’t you talk to me?� she finally asked. “You seemed so happy during the last weeks and I… I just thought you’d maybe want to share that with me.�

Again she stopped the movements of her fingers. After a few seconds she sighed and turned to JJ: “I’m sorry.� she whispered. “But it’s… it’s complicated.�

JJ frowned. For the past two months Penelope had seemed to be on cloud nine but suddenly JJ got the impression that something was wrong about this relationship – or maybe even about this guy. She’d much rather at least known who he was, met him at least once to be able to judge whether he was good for Penelope or not. “Complicated?� she repeated. “What does that mean?�

“I…� Penelope sighed again and looked down. “I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t know.�

“You should be careful.� JJ advised. “It’s not good for you if you bluster into this relationship like that. Especially not if he forbade you to talk about it.�

Penelope gave her an appalled look: “It’s not that he… He didn’t forbid me to… to tell somebody.�

“Then why don’t you talk to me?� she insisted and put both her hands on Penelope’s shoulders to keep her from turning away again.

Penelope winced a little when JJ’s hand slightly squeezed the wound on her shoulder.

Appalled JJ let go of Pen’s shoulders and stared at her in shock. “What’s that?� she wanted to know and pointed at her left shoulder.

“Nothing.� she assured and blushed slightly.

“Penelope, if he bashes you, you should…�

“No� she quickly interrupted her co-worker. “he’d never do that. Believe me, it’s nothing… at least it’s not what you think it is.�

“Then what is it?� JJ almost shouted at her. She’d seen that much too often when she’d talked to the wives of suspects. Most of them had been beaten by their husbands and every single one of them had denied it.

When Penelope didn’t answer JJ stepped closer and brushed Penelope’s jacket aside. She stared at the clearly visible bite mark on her shoulder in shock. Then they both blushed deeply and for a few moments none of them seemed to know what to say.

Finally Penelope broke the silence without looking at JJ: “He didn’t do it on purpose.� she said. “And it… well… it didn’t really hurt.�

JJ chewed it over and then asked. “So you don’t want to tell anyone because it’s nothing serious.� she concluded. “It’s just about sex.�

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

“Hey, mama.� Derek smiled when she opened her door, rushed inside and locked her into his embrace gently nibbling at her neck. “You left without me today.�

“Stop that!� she broke away from him and turned so he faced her back.

That was not good. “What’s wrong, angel?� he softly asked.

“That’s all, isn’t it?� she whispered.

The sadness and disappointment in her voice were like a knife running into his heart. “What… are you talking about?� he asked not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

“Us� she shrugged her voice still so low he almost wasn’t able to hear what she said. “this is just… sex, isn’t it.�

“No� Derek objected and stepped closer to her. “no, honey, it’s not just sex. It’s so much more. I love you, Penelope.�

She turned to look at him and he could see the tears that had sprung to her eyes. “Then why… why do you still keep it a secret? Why don’t we tell the others?�

“We will.� he assured her taking another step in her direction reaching his hand out to touch her.

“When?� she asked in return and took a step back, away from him. “I… I know that this was my idea and at first it was… really exciting. But… I don’t want to have to hide away anymore. I… I want more.�

“I know.� he replied unable to keep the hurt from his voice, she spurned him.

She gave him the saddest smile he’d ever seen and his heart stopped beating for a moment. He’d never meant to hurt her like that.

“But you can’t give it to me.� she whispered. “I know that. I knew it beforehand but I… somehow hoped it would be different with me. It was presumptuous, I know that.�

“No, Penelope� although he desperately tried he wasn’t able to say these words loud. “please, don’t talk like that. I never meant to…�

“I don’t blame you, Derek.� she softly interrupted him. “As I said I knew that beforehand. You don’t have relationships just sex. It’s not that I… didn’t enjoy what we had… but… I can’t go on like that, playing hide and seek and not even being allowed to talk to JJ about… us. She’s my best friend and I would like to… simply talk to her, tell her how happy I am and how you… make me feel things I never felt before. But I can’t because you refuse to tell them and… I… I don’t know. Maybe this simply wasn’t a good idea.�

Derek gasped for air. He couldn’t believe that she’d just said these words. He’d been on cloud nine during the past two months and he’d thought she’d felt the same way. But obviously he’d been wrong. Why hadn’t she told him before?! Well, she had but he hadn’t really paid attention. Penelope had begged him to finally tell the others about them – but he’d rejected that. She was right, at first it had been really exciting but the longer they hid their relationship the harder it got to find the right words to tell their co-workers. Derek had wanted to wait for the best moment to talk to Hotch. He’d obviously waited to long. No, this couldn’t be happening. He wouldn’t let it happen. The first thing he’d do the next morning was telling the others. He didn’t want to loose Penelope, he simply couldn’t.

“Please, baby girl� he whispered. “don’t dump me! We will…�

“This doesn’t work.� she interrupted him. “As much as we both want it to work it… it simply doesn’t. We hardly have anything in common.�

“Of course, we have.� he objected. “What about our taste in music or…�

“Derek, please go now!� she whispered. “Don’t make it harder than necessary!�

“Don’t� he panted. “please, don’t split up with me!�
“Just go!� she whispered and opened the door waiting for him to leave her flat.

Unwillingly he stepped outside and turned back at her to try to reason with her once more. But she shut the door in his face.

Her heart broke into a million pieces when she saw the hurt in his face. Maybe he did love her, maybe he did need her. But he didn’t love nor need her enough to make their relationship public. So he probably didn’t need her but just the nights they spent together. She felt the tears coming up and quickly shut the door to keep him from seeing that. Her legs gave way and she slid to the floor. It hurt so much to loose him but she knew it would have hurt even more to go on like that.

Derek could hear her sobs through the door. This sound almost lacerated his heart and he reached out to knock. But he was sure she wouldn’t open so he rejected that plan and went away. He didn’t drive home immediately. He stopped at a pub and emptied half a bottle of Whiskey. Maybe it was dangerous to drive home after that but he didn’t care anymore.

After he’d arrived Derek immediately dialed the familiar number. “Hey, mom.� he softly said and tried to smile to keep the sadness from his voice.

“Honey, what happened?� Fran asked in concern. She knew her son too well not to realize something was really wrong.

He sighed. “It’s… because of Penelope.� he paused for a long time and finally whispered. “We split up.�

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry.� Fran only called her son pet names when she thought he really needed to be consoled. “What happened?�

“What I feared the most.� he replied in barely more than a whisper. “I spoiled it.�

“Tell me what happened.� Fran gently commanded. She was really concerned for Derek had never called her before out of lovesickness.

“I…� he sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I refused to tell the rest of the team about us and… we fought about that. Well, we didn’t really fight. I wanted to assure her that I will tell the others but she refused to listen to me. I can’t even blame her for that. She’s right. She deserves so much more than I was willing to give to her.�

Fran frowned. Derek hadn’t seemed to worry about the fact that she had – pretty much accidentally – found out about them. So why didn’t he want his co-workers, his friends to know it? “Why didn’t you tell your team?� she wanted to know.

“I don’t know.� he shrugged not recognizing she couldn’t see him. “We first agreed we’d let them figure it out themselves but… they didn’t and… after two months Penelope wanted us to tell them. I… I said I wanted to talk to Hotch before every one else but I never did. It simply… never seemed to be the right moment for telling him.�

“If you keep waiting for the right moment to reveal something like that you’ll have a long wait ahead of you.� Fran replied. “But I know you too well to believe that this was the only reason you didn’t tell your co-workers. That pretty much seems like a pretext to me, Derek.��

“What… are you talking about?� he asked obviously perplexed.

“That is not the real problem, is it?� it was more like a statement than a question. “I mean, it’s not that you couldn’t find the right time or the right words to tell your friends that you two were an item. So what was the problem? Don’t you love her?�

“Of course, I love her.� Derek answered and the tone of his voice left no doubt that this was the truth. “But I’m… I’m not made for a relationship. I spoiled it, again.�

“That is not a proper argument.� she scolded him. “If you try hard enough you can make a relationship work and you know that.�

“Do you mean to say I spoiled it on purpose?� he almost shouted at his mother.

“Of course not.� she sighed. “I’m just saying that you being unable of having a relationship is a weak argument. And moreover the question is not why you spoiled it but why you refused to make your relationship with Penelope public.�

“I honestly don’t know that.� he said. “I was just… somehow… I don’t know.�

“Scared?� Fran pressed him.

Derek breathed deeply and tried to answer that question to himself. Had he been scared? If so about what? About what his co-workers might think about it? He knew there was no need to worry that they wouldn’t disagree with Penelope and him having a relationship. Finally Derek sighed: “Maybe.�

“It’s because of Beth, right?� she could imagine her son’s eyebrows raise in disbelief that she’d brought up that issue.

“That was such a long time ago.� he replied. “What should my relationship with Penelope have to do with her?�

“I think you didn’t tell the rest of your team because you were… worried about the fact that Penelope is white.� Fran had always thought that it was better to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve and she’d brought up her children to do the same.

“You know that I don’t care about that.� he snorted. “After all dad and you have been quite an inspiring example.�

“I know that you don’t care.� she replied. “But you fear that Penelope does. Beth broke up the friendship with you because people didn’t seem to accept a black and a white child as friends. Even her parents were against it.�

“Mom, we were children.� Derek reminded her. “That was totally different.�

Fran sighed: “But you’ve never had a girlfriend who was white before.�

He opened his mouth to say that she was wrong but he had to admit his mother really had a point there. Of course, he’d flirted with white women as well – but he’d usually taken those of Afro-American descendant home. Derek hadn’t even recognized that he’d done so. He’d never minded something so unimportant as the color of skin. But Fran was right. “I know.� he finally answered. “I honestly don’t mind what people think about it. I mean, I’m used to almost any kind of insult people come up with but…�

Fran waited for almost a whole minute but when her son refused to finish his sentence she added: “But Penelope isn’t?�

He breathed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. “Beth told me back then that she couldn’t stand people staring at us when we spent time together. No matter what we did, even if I just walked her home, people kept staring at us as if we were from a different planet. And after a group of older kids once almost had beaten us up she ended the friendship. I can’t even blame her for having done so.�

“Penelope is not Beth.� Fran softly said.

“I know.� Derek sighed. “But I… I was just afraid that if people started to… treat us like they treated Beth and me when we were kids… that everything would be just as it was then.�

Fran frowned. “I understand that you are apprehensive about how people react but I can tell you for sure that when the two of you really love each other there’s nothing in the world that could tear you apart. Your father and I had to face the same problems, you know that.�

“Yes, I do.� he sighed.

“Penelope loves you.� Fran assured him. “And she is a very strong and courageous young woman. I don’t think she’d give a damn what people think about your relationship.�

“I know she wouldn’t.� Yes, he knew. He knew too well that Penelope Garcia never ever gave a damn what people thought about her – except him, Hotch and Gideon maybe. That was one of the reasons he loved her.

“Then go and talk to her!� she demanded.

“I wish it was that simple.� he whispered.

“Derek, it is that simple.� Fran insisted. “All you have to do is swallow your pride and talk to her!�

Derek sighed again: “I don’t think she wants to listen.�

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Hotch frowned when he hung up. He’d never heard Penelope Garcia sounding so wasted and so sad. She was always cheerful and teasing even him on the phone. Even after one of the unsubs had gone after her and she’d almost died she’d recovered very fast. But today her voice had not even sounded like that of Penelope Garcia.

Maybe she was really ill as she’d told him on the phone. Or maybe something was really wrong. Hotch decided to question JJ and Derek about it. Maybe one of them knew what was wrong with her. Hadn’t they taken off for the next case this morning he’d surely sent one of her friends to go and check on her. But as much as he was concerned at the moment he didn’t want another agent to do that.
“Hotch, Detective Jones has arrived.� Derek informed him.

“Oh, Derek, for a word!� Hotch waved him nearer.
Frowning Derek stepped into the room and closed the door. “What’s wrong?�

“I wanted to ask you the same.� he replied. “Garcia has reported sick.�

Derek swallowed hard. It was his fault and he wasn’t even there to go and check on her. He couldn’t even call her for she didn’t answer her phone when she saw his number on the display – and she also refused to pick up when he suppressed the number.

“I was just wondering if you know what’s wrong with her.� he gave him a questioning look.

“I… um… I’m not sure.� Derek shifted uncomfortably in his seat. That would just have been the perfect moment to tell Hotch about him and Penelope. The only thing was that there wasn’t anything to tell anymore.

“Well, I don’t want to jump at conclusions but she somehow sounded rather sad than really ill. Is there something I should worry about?� Hotch pressed him.

“I don’t think so.� Derek said wondering why on earth Hotch paid so much attention.

“You know I didn’t recognize when Elle had problems and we lost her.� Hotch sighed. And moreover he hadn’t paid enough attention to recognize that Haley was about to leave him. “I just don’t want to make the same mistake twice. We can’t afford to loose another agent.�

“I understand.� he nodded.

“That applies to you, too.� Hotch frowned.

Derek raised his eyebrows and gave him a puzzled look.

“You seem to be back to the insomnia.� Hotch stated. “I hope you’ll come to grips with whatever causes it so that I won’t have to suspend you from field work again.�

He nodded: “I hope so, too.�

Hotch sighed again: “Derek, I know that you…�

“We have a problem!� JJ interrupted him bursting into the room. “The unsub has just tried to rob another gas station and he’s taken four people hostages.�

Derek jumped out of his seat: “Let’s go!�

It took them about fifteen minutes to reach the gas station. The SWAT-team hadn’t arrived yet and the unsub was about to loose his nerves. Hotch ordered Derek and Emily to go to the backdoor and wait for further orders. But Derek ignored that order, burst into the gas station and overwhelmed the unsub before he’d even known what was going on. The man was in his mid-thirties and obviously deranged. He’d robbed four gas stations and three restaurants and every time he’d made one of the hostages chose another one of them to die.

Hotch watched Detective Jones haul the unsub off and stared Derek down: “What was that?�

“I thought he would freak out and maybe kill the hostages.� he shrugged.

“If you want to risk your life at all costs you should maybe consider a break – and not a very short one.� he snarled.

“Hey� JJ smiled and leant against his desk. “we’re hitting the town, wanna join us?�

Derek looked up from the file in his hands and sighed: “No, thanks.�

JJ raised her brows: “No? You don’t want to go out and have some drinks with Spencer, Emily and me? What’s wrong with you? You never rejected this before.�

“I know.� he ran his hand over his face and closed his eyes. “I’m just… not in the mood.�

“Not in the mood?!� JJ almost screamed these words. “Okay, who are you and what have you done to Derek Morgan?�

Derek sighed again. “Why can’t I just once in my life be not in the mood to go out?�

“Well, because this is you.� the smile had disappeared from her face and given way to obvious concern. “What’s wrong with you, Derek? You look as if you haven’t slept for a week or so. Is there a new girlfriend keeping you up all night?�

He didn’t answer.

“Oh, my goodness.� JJ whispered. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to… She split up, right?�

Derek looked down and nodded.

JJ frowned. “But that wasn’t the first time, right?�

“No.� he replied in a low voice. “I spoiled it sooner or later every time.�

“So, what’s different this time?� she wanted to know.

“Can I ask you something… um personal?� Derek changed the topic

“Sure.� she shrugged.

“Have you ever had a relationship with someone who was… well… black?�

JJ gave him an utterly perplexed glance and then stumbled: “Um… no… why… do you ask?�

He didn’t answer her question but asked: “Why didn’t you?�

“I don’t know.� she frowned. “It just somehow didn’t come along.�

“I see.� he nodded.

“No, I don’t think so.� her voice was a little more angry this time. “You think I don’t want to have a relation with black guys. That’s simply not true. I had a crush on an Afro-American when I was at high school but he… well, didn’t want me. I don’t care about the color of somebody’s skin. You should know me well enough to know that.�

“I’m sorry.� he replied sheepishly.

JJ studied his face and asked: “Is that the problem? That she’s white? I mean, did she split up because of that?�

“No.� he answered. “But it was the reason I kept this relationship secret.�

“Hell, I understand that she didn’t want to put up with that any longer.� JJ bashed him on the shoulder. “What’s wrong with you? Your mother is white. Did that ever affect your parents’ marriage?�

“No� he replied. “That never was an issue.�

“Then why should it affect your relationship?� she frowned. “Did she ever raise that issue?�

Derek shook his head.

“Then what?� JJ almost shouted at him. “Why do you think that could be a problem. Do you think we wouldn’t approve that your girlfriend is white?�

“Of course not.� he sighed. “You and the team are not the problem. I know that you don’t care about that because you know me.�

“Do you really care that much about what other people think?� JJ raised her eyebrows.

“No, but…� Derek sighed and shook his head. “You don’t know how hard that can get.�

“And you thought she wouldn’t be able to deal with that.� she concluded. “Well, maybe you should have let her make that decision on her own.�

“Thanks� he smiled sadly. “but it’s a little too late for your good advice.�

“So what.� she shrugged. “Almost all women on this planet have a crush on you. That’s why you hardly ever had a relationship. So, what should be different this time? One girl’s gone, so what? You can replace her by the next one like you always do.�

“No one could ever replace her.� Derek shook his head to emphasize his words.

“Wow, you’ve really fallen for her.� JJ’s voice reflected her obvious surprise about that. “Weren’t you the one saying you could have any woman?� JJ reminded him.

This time he didn’t answer.

“She’s gone.� JJ studied his face and patted his shoulder deciding it was better to leave him alone. “And it seems she’s taken you with her. If she really means that much to you then maybe you should try and talk to her.�

“She doesn’t even answer the phone when it’s me.� he replied.

JJ sighed and shook her head: “Man, first Penelope and now you.�

“What do you mean?� he asked puzzled.

“Didn’t she tell you?� JJ raised her eyebrows. She thought Penelope would tell Derek almost everything. But maybe her love life was something different.

“Tell me what?� he wanted to know.

“When she reported sick two weeks ago I decided to see her after we’d returned from that case. She’d just split up with her boyfriend and was badly off, I can tell you. I wonder why she didn’t talk to you about it.�

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Hotch rushed towards the elevators. Again it had gotten really late and tomorrow was Jack’s birthday so he didn’t want to be late. He stopped when he heard the familiar typing through the door. For a moment he thought about ignoring it. But given the fact it was already past two a.m. he simply couldn’t. So he knocked and opened the door.

“Sir� Penelope almost jumped out of her seat. “I thought everyone had already gone home. Why are you still here?�

“I could ask you the same.� he replied.

“Well� she shrugged. “I still have to fix my babies, have some work to do… just… well, the usual stuff.�

Hotch frowned. He could have sworn he’d seen her minimizing a backgammon and a poker game when he’d stepped in. “Go home, Garcia!� he commanded. “You’ve been up for four nights now. Even you can’t get along without sleep forever. You’re not helping anyone when you collapse due to sleep deprivation.�

“I really need just a few more minutes.� she stated.

Sighing he pulled a chair to her and sat down. “What’s wrong?� he softly asked.

Penelope turned to him and stared at him almost in shock. He’d hardly ever entered her inner sanctum but he had never ever sat down to talk to her unless it was work-related – and even then he’d only talked to her during the briefings or on the phone.

“Is it about you and Derek?� he asked when she didn’t answer.

Her eyes widened. How could he know? She’d been sure no one had recognized it.

“I’ve known from the moment you answered Derek’s phone.� he smiled. “Although I wasn’t sure until I saw the two of you in my office. You’ve been so nervous that it was clear what had happened. But something is wrong now, am I right?�

Penelope shrugged and turned back to her computers. “There is no Derek and me anymore.�

Hotch raised both his eyebrows: “You split up?�

“Is it really that surprising?� she answered hardly able to keep the sadness from her voice.

“Yes, it is.� he nodded. “Everything seemed quite well between the two of you so… what happened? Did he betray you?�

“No, it just didn’t work.� she replied looking down, avoiding his eyes. “We don’t have very much in common, so it was just… It simply wasn’t enough to make it work.�

“You and Derek have a lot in common.� Hotch objected. “You have the same taste in music, a very weird one though, but the same. You both love karaoke bars not forgetting your inclination for bantering and flirting not only with each other. You are both very intelligent and there is a lot you can talk about or go in for together. He’s still impressed you solved the problem he had with putting this bomb together and I figure he’s the only one of us who at least has a clue what you’re doing here with your computers.�

Penelope quickly wiped off the tear that ran down her face.

Hotch grabbed the armrest of her chair and forced her to turn to him. But she kept avoiding his eyes. “So what actually is the problem?�

She shrugged but didn’t answer his question. She simply didn’t know what to say.

Hesitantly he took a deep breath. This was going to be really embarrassing for both of them for he normally never discussed such things with his agents. But he had to do something. He simply couldn’t watch Derek and Penelope suffer from the fact that they’d split up. He knew too well what that felt like. “You think your relationship was just� he cleared his throat uncomfortably shifting in the seat. Damn it, Aaron, just say it! “just about sex.�

Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at him not knowing what to reply.

“Why do you think so?� he softly asked.

“I… We didn’t make it public. Well, he… he refused to tell somebody. He… kept saying that… he couldn’t find the right moment or the right words… So I figured he didn’t want everyone else to know. And then JJ asked me if it was just sex and that was why I didn’t tell her about him and… Well, I started thinking about that and about how often we had…� she stopped, blushed deeply and looked down. Once more in her life she’d spoken without thinking beforehand.

Hotch smiled: “You know, this is just normal. I mean, if you are newly in love that’s pretty usual. During our first year Haley and I could hardly keep our hands off of each other.�

Penelope frowned and gave him an understanding look. “I’m sorry that she left.�

“I know.� he smiled. “But this is not about me and Haley now, it’s about you and Derek. So the main reason that made you think your relationship over and conclude that it maybe was just about sex was JJ’s comment?�

“Stupid, I know.� she whispered. “But I… I don’t know. I was so afraid that she was right that I… started to believe that myself and I… I thought I wouldn’t survive if he’d ever dumped me. So I considered it the best if I… just ended this before I could get too much involved.� the tears were unstoppably running down her cheeks now.

“But you already were too much involved.� he answered calmly and handed her a handkerchief.

Penelope simply nodded and dried her tears.

“You thought it would be easier to bear the pain of pushing him away than to handle it if it really hadn’t worked.� Hotch’s words made her look at him again and he gave her an encouraging smile. “But what if it worked? You’ll never find out if you run away. So maybe you should give it another try. You could miss the chance to be happy if you don’t.�

“I know.� she whispered and then started sobbing again. Although she tried hard she couldn’t calm down so she covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry.� she sobbed.

“You don’t need to be.� Hotch replied softly and did something he hardly ever did with anyone but Haley: he carefully embraced Penelope.

“I… I regretted that I split up the moment I’d done it.� she sobbed. “But… I was… so afraid. I mean, how can someone like him really love someone… like me?�

“You are a very smart, beautiful and good hearted woman.� Hotch replied and gently petted her back. “He’d have to be a real dimwit to miss that.�

“Thank you.� she smiled finally calming down and blushed again.

Hotch let go of her and asked: “So are you going to talk to him?�

“The first thing I’ll do tomorrow… um… I mean, today.� she nodded.

“Good.� he smiled and stood up. “And now shut your computers down and go home! I’ll walk you to your car.�

“Yes, Sir.� she smiled pressing a few keys and watching her babies go to sleep. “Done.� she announced, grabbed her purse and jumped up. But suddenly she felt very dizzy and her knees started to shake.

“What’s wrong?� Hotch asked in concern when he saw the blood disappear from her face.

Penelope opened her mouth to assure him she was fine. But her legs quit their service and everything around her gave way to a black nothing.

Hotch rushed over to her to keep her from falling.

Derek hesitated for a moment. He didn’t want to ask Hotch of all people but he’d already asked everyone else and no one had been able or willing to tell him where she was. After his talk to JJ he’d finally decided that he needed to talk to Penelope. He couldn’t simply let her go. He at least had to try to fix it. But he hadn’t been able to find her and it was already noon.

Finally Derek took a deep breath and knocked.

“Come in!� Hotch called without looking up from the file he was reading.

Slowly Derek opened the door and stepped into the office. “Um… I… Excuse me, Hotch. Do you… know where Penelope is? Seems she didn’t show up to work today.�

Hotch raised his head and an eyebrow in addition: “Nobody told you?�

“Told me what?� he asked in concern. Did she quit? Because of him? Or was she ill? Was it something serious? He was puzzled, concerned, scared, all at once.

“She had a qualm.� Hotch informed him.

“She had what?� Derek almost shouted at him. “Where is she? Is she alright? I mean, which hospital did they…�

“Derek, Relax.� Hotch interrupted him. “She collapsed this morning because she hadn’t slept for at least four days. I brought her to a hospital but they assured us she’s fine. They send her home and I gave her two days off to recover.�

Derek sighed with relief although still a little shaking. “Hotch, I… I need…�

“Just go, it’s fine.� Hotch smiled. It seemed that finally they’d both decided to talk to each other. Maybe he should consider to earn a living as a relationship counselor or something. “Oh, and Derek.� he stopped the agent from leaving his office.
Derek frowned and turned to face his boss again. He’d probably tell him to be back in at least one hour.
Hotch’s smile had widened a little: “Take the next two days off as well. I figure you’ve some things to fix.�

He stared at him utterly perplexed. How could he know? Had Penelope told him? How long had he already known? And most of all what did he think about it? A thousand questions sprung to his mind.

“Just go and talk to her!� he commanded. “And don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. I’m fine as long as it doesn’t affect your work – and you already proved it doesn’t.�

He smiled obviously relieved. “Thanks, Hotch.� he nodded and once again headed for the door.

“Oh, just one last thing.� Hotch stopped him a second time.

Derek turned holding the handle in his hands and gave him an almost impatient look. He wanted to go and see Penelope, use the next two days as good as possible to show her that this could really work.

“Never do it in Garcia’s office again!� Hotch commanded giving Derek his usual deprecating stare.

Derek blushed deeply and was glad that due to the color of his skin Hotch couldn’t see very much of it. He gasped for air, then nodded terribly embarrassed and left the office.

Hotch couldn’t help but grin a little gleefully. He’d never put Derek Morgan on the spot like that before. Although he should have really been upset that Derek’s reaction had confirmed his assumption he also felt a little amused.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Penelope still felt incredibly tired. It had been no problem for her to stay awake for a hundred hours or so just dozing a little in between. But once her body had forced her to give in its need to lie down and rest it seemed she couldn’t get enough sleep. The problem was that her back was aching so much that she couldn’t lie anymore. So she’d decided to watch a movie and probably for the first time of her life simply do nothing.

She heard a hesitant knock on her door, stopped the movie, sighed and got up. It was certainly JJ wanting to see whether she was alright – again. Penelope desperately wished it to be someone else. She missed his warm embrace, his strong arms holding her at night. Sighing once more she opened the door and froze at the very moment.

Derek gave her a concerned look. Her face was pale and she looked exhausted. But at least he saw her and that immediately made him feel a little better. “Hey, baby girl.� he said in a very low voice. “I… I wanted to apologize. I’m so sorry that…�

She interrupted him by throwing herself into his arms. Derek gently made her step back inside so that he could shut the door and caught her in his arms. He hadn’t imagined that this would be that easy. But still he had to apologize. And still they needed to talk. But not now. This moment was for the warm and comforting embrace he’d missed for what seemed like ages. So they stood in her corridor holding each other tight for more than fifteen minutes.

“I missed you so much.� Penelope finally whispered.

Derek smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I missed you, too, honey.�

“I’m so sorry.� she said eventually letting go of him. “I… I never meant to split up with you. Well, yes I did, but it was the worst idea I ever had. I didn’t want to hurt you I… was just afraid that… that… I don’t know.�

“But I know what you mean, goddess.� he assured her. “I’m so sorry I refused to tell the others and I understand that this made you feel I didn’t want to… well, let our relationship become real by making it public.�

“So that means you… want me back?� she asked.

“Yes, I do.� he replied. “There’s nothing I want more. I love you and I never wanted to loose you. And I promise you this time it’ll work because I want it to.�

“Me too.� she whispered. “I love you so much, Derek. I… I’m so sorry that I thought this was just about sex and I’m sorry that I blamed you for not telling the others. I understand if you don’t want them to…�

“We will tell them.� he interrupted her smiling widely.

Penelope gave him a baffled look: “We will?�

“Yes, we will.� Derek nodded. “And I’m looking forward to it. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to tell them earlier. I… I don’t know it seemed impossible to find the right moment to tell them and even harder to find the right words. Somehow I was afraid that they… that Hotch wouldn’t approve it. But now I know that it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the team thinks about it. It doesn’t even matter what Hotch thinks about it – although I’m relieved that he’s okay with us. But all that really matters is that you are here with me. I want the team to know, I want the whole wide world to know about us and I don’t give a damn anymore what they think or say. I don’t want us to have to hide any longer.�

“Me neither.� Penelope agreed and her heart leapt by the thought of not having to hide their feelings any longer. “Why… were you afraid to tell the rest of the team?�

Derek took a deep breath and looked into her eyes: “I… You know that some people maybe won’t agree with… us being an item.�

Penelope raised her brows and gave him a baffled look: “What are you talking about?�

“Well� he cleared his throat. “I’m just saying people could maybe take umbrage at the fact that you are… white and I’m…�

“Hang on� Penelope interrupted him. “that was the problem? That was why you didn’t want to tell the others?� nervously she paced her living room. “And I thought the problem was that… you didn’t want to admit that you make it with the office geek.�

He barred her way and gently grabbed her arms: “Penelope, don’t tell me you thought I would be ashamed of you. And besides I don’t make it with you, I love you.�

She took a deep breath to calm down and whispered: “I know. But back to the fact that you’re worried about me being white. Do you think that would bother me?�

“No� he replied. “I mean, I know you don’t care about this but… not everyone is as sophisticated and tolerant as you are. Some people have fun blaming inter-racial couples, I’ve experienced that before. And… well, I can handle this but…�

“Stop that bloody nonsense!� she softly said. “Derek, I’ve been a geek my whole life long and I’ve been blamed and insulted for that so often. You think I can’t handle some brainless sayings? I could write a book on dealing with them!�

He couldn’t help but smile widely: “And yet you gave me another reason to love you.�

Penelope stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him and leant her head against his chest. “Don’t think you’ll get rid of me that easy, handsome.� she whispered.

Then she raised her head again and asked in a low voice: “So how… um… when do you want to tell the others?�

“Right after we returned to work.� he answered. “And I have something very special in mind how to tell them.�

His grin made her become a little nervous. Then her thoughts chewed over what he said and she asked: “Hang on, after we returned to work?�

He nodded and explained: “Hotch gave me the next two days off as well. And I know exactly how to spend them.�

Her heartbeat sped up thinking about what the next days might be holding ready for her.

“So get your jacket and your purse, doll face!� he commanded.

“Where are we going?� she wanted to know.

“Just come and take pot luck!� he replied and hold his hand out to her. He led her to his car and told her to close her eyes and not to open them until they’d reached their aim.

Penelope couldn’t believe they were doing this. How could he ever kept in mind that she once told him about her and her brothers spending hours on the frozen lake near their house during the winter and how much fun this had been for her, how much she missed ice-skating? She giggled when Derek elegantly sashayed towards her and wrapped her in his arms.

“So, is that close to the fun you had with your brothers?� he smiled. “I know it’s not a lake and not even outside but…�

“It’s perfect, peaches.� she interrupted him and gave him a long soft kiss. “Even better than back then. Thank you.�

“That’s not all I planned for today, mama.� he grinned. “But let’s first enjoy this for a few more minutes.�

Hand in hand they pretty much floated across the sheet of artificial ice. It was so cold in that hall that one could almost think it really was the deepest winter.

“I didn’t know you like ice-skating.� Penelope smiled. “And I’d never thought you’d be that good at it.�

“I practiced a lot when I was younger.� he shrugged. “And you see we have more in common than we already know. There’s very much we still need to find out.�

“And I’m so looking forward to that.� she replied.

“But I fear we have to call it a day now.� he said and led her to the exit. “I have another plan for the evening.�

“I guess you won’t tell me now, will you?� she smirked.

“No way, baby girl.� he chuckled. “That’s another surprise.�

When Penelope opened her eyes she was completely stunned. They were standing on a private stage right above the Potomac, a huge tartan blanket spread over wooden planks and a picnic hamper on top of it. “Derek� she whispered. “how did you…�

“A magician never reveals his secrets.� he chuckled. “Come on, beautiful, take a seat and have dinner with me!�

The dinner was almost more wonderful than the rest of that day had already been. Derek did everything to show her that their relationship could be so much more than just sharing the bed. Never had she been that happy before. As much as she’d suffered during the past weeks maybe all that had been necessary to make thinks as perfect as they were now.

Derek smiled at the woman next to him and refilled her glass with the red wine. This was pure heaven he thought and inwardly giggled a little. He’d always thought all that romantic nick-nack was not at all his scene. But this evening, the whole day had so proven that wrong. Why hadn’t he considered doing that before?!

It was almost full moon and the night was starry. Thanks to the fact it was late summer the temperature was very pleasing. The moonlight was reflected from the slightly moving water and the pale light made Penelope’s hair look even more golden than usual and her eyes sparkled while she smiled at him. She looked incredibly beautiful. Derek reached out and gently stroked her cheek then brushed a strand behind her ear.

For a long time Penelope locked eyes with the man next to her and they simply smiled at one another. Then she slowly bent over to him. This moment was so perfect that she just felt she had to kiss him right now.

Derek’s hand slid behind her head to pull her closer allowing them to deepen the kiss. Although he’d planned not to do this tonight to keep Penelope from thinking their relationship was just sex he couldn’t cushion the need of his body and his soul after such a long time of abstinence. And besides she’d started this. So he figured it was okay to give into it. He gently tried to make her lie back on the blanket but she refused. Derek broke the kiss and gave her a querying look.

She smiled mischievously and threw him on his back leaning over him. “Let me take the lead this time!� she bent down and pushing his shirt up spread soft kisses all over his amazingly hard abs. She took her time removing his shirt. Then she kissed a path back down his stomach teasing his belly button and giggling when he growled helplessly.

Derek swallowed when he felt her hands undoing his jeans. As much as he wanted this he was a little concerned. Penelope had refused to take over control until now. She was surprisingly shy concerning sex. And moreover she’d assured him she’d never do it outdoors. He didn’t want her to do this as a reward. “Baby girl� he softly said. “you know that you don’t have to do this. I mean, if this is meant to be…�

“Could you please stop profiling me?!� she interrupted him and grimaced. “I’m not doing this because this was a wonderful day. It is my turn tonight, gorgeous.� and then she whispered in the most seductive voice. “And I assure you I’m going to enjoy it.�

“Well, in this case, anything you want, my goddess.� he smiled.

“I’m sorry.� Penelope whispered and gently let her finger run over the clearly visible marks her nails had left on his back.

“I’m not.� he smiled and brushed a wet strand out of her face. “It felt quite good.� He still couldn’t believe all this. He had refused to make that proposal so far because of Penelope’s demureness. But she’d shown him on that stage that she’d completely lost it now. And so he’d figured it wouldn’t hurt him to ask her. Derek smiled remembering her baffled look when he’d asked her if she trusted him, how she’d assured him she did and how she’d gasped when he’d held out the black velvet scarf to her. He’d been sure she would reject and he still couldn’t believe she’d actually said she wanted to try it. Derek had made every effort to make Penelope enjoy that experience – and he’d been very successful regarding her reactions.

And he could even less believe she’d woken him up like this! Derek grinned at that remembrance and added: “I’m just a little worried the neighbors could complain about the fact that we were rather loud last night.�

Penelope blushed deeply and looked down. She hadn’t wanted to loose control like that but the past night had been more than amazing. After they’d finally made it to his flat – which was much nearer to the Potomac than hers – Derek had made her go completely wild. When he’d made that proposal she’d been worried to be at his mercy, defenseless and blindfolded. But he’d soon made her not care a bit about that.

Derek laughed heartily: “Oh, goddess, I love it when you blush like this.� He let his hand run up and down her arm and added in a seductive voice: “And I love it when you scream out my name again and again.�

“Hold your tongue, sunshine!� she scolded him and slapped his chest.

He grinned at her: “I remember last night you asked the exact opposite of me.�

“Oh, just you wait!� Penelope snarled and tried to spank him playfully.

Derek grabbed her wrists and flung her around holding her arms above her head. He gave her a malicious grin, leant down and breathed into her ear: “Did you really think you could get the better of me, baby girl?�

Her heart was pounding like mad and she was unable to speak. His body against hers, his weight pressing her into the sheets... She gasped and closed her eyes.

He gently nuzzled her neck and felt her pulse racing. Her arms were still struggling to escape his grip and he smiled contented. His teeth started to nibble on her neck.

“Don’t dare to leave a mark there.� she panted.

Grinning he gently bit the soft skin and was rewarded with a moan of pleasure. As much as Derek wanted to continue what he’d just began he loved teasing her even more. So he let go of her and got off the bed. “Get up, sugar, I’m starving.�

A complaining sound escaped from deep in her throat when her body lost the contact to his. This was so not fair! But unfortunately that had become one of Derek’s favorite pastimes. He drove her wild till she was practically beseeching him for more and then he stopped whatever he was about to do. Sighing she got up and took a cold shower.

When she stepped into the kitchen her jaw dropped. Derek had set the table and a huge cup of coffee as well as a delicious-looking omelet were waiting for her.

“Take your seat, baby girl.� he smiled.

They both sat down on the table and ate in silence, just sharing smiles in between. Finally Penelope reached over the table and took his hand in hers. “Do you know that I can’t sleep without you anymore.� she smiled and squeezed his hand.

“What makes you think you’ll get more sleep when I’m with you.� he chuckled.

“Honestly� she whispered and studied his eyes. “I never want to fight with you again.�

Derek smiled impishly: “Well, if the reconciliation is always like last night and this morning I hope we’ll have a hell of a lot of fights ahead of us.�

“I guess next time we could do the reconciliation without the preceding fight.� she smiled.

“That sounds like a very good idea.� he chuckled and put the plates into the dishwasher. “Well, goddess, do you have any plans for today?� he then asked giving her a querying look.

Penelope stood up, walked over to him and gave him a demanding kiss. “Most definitely� she whispered. “and they involve practically any place in this flat and no clothes.�

Derek raised both his eyebrows. “I thought we wanted to… take things a little slower.�

“I had to relinquish you much too long.� she explained. “And besides I… had a little advice that a lot of sex doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s nothing more. So, gorgeous� she smirked and held the scarf out to him. “do you trust me?�

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

“Don’t think you’ll make me sing!� Emily complaint when they entered the karaoke bar Derek had picked.
He smirked: “Don’t worry, this time I’ve something different in mind.�

“This time?� she shrieked. “Remind me I’m not joining you next time!�

“Oh, come on, Em, this is fun.� Penelope grinned at her.

“I’m not going to sing either.� Spencer claimed and sat down on the leather couch.

JJ settled next to him and gave him a slight poke in the ribs: “I thought I’d hear you sing a love song to me.�

He blushed deeply and his co-workers laughed.

“Let’s order something to eat.� Hotch proposed when he saw the waitress pass their table.

“So, why exactly did you invite us to this… establishment?� Emily asked and skeptically watched a man in his middle ages performing ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’ in a way that almost made her ears start bleeding.

Penelope giggled: “Well, he’s not the best example but normally, that’s real fun.�

“And besides we want to tell you something.� Derek added and gently squeezed Penelope’s hand under the table.

Spencer raised his head and gave his two friends a curious look: “Tell us what?�

“Be patient, boy.� Derek smiled at him. “We’ll tell you, just not now.�

“Then maybe Penelope wants to tell us more about her new boyfriend.� JJ grinned at her friend. “Seems you’ve made it up with him.�

“Indeed.� she said and bandied glimpses with Derek.

“A new boyfriend?� Emily pricked up her ears. “Do we know him?�

“Yeah, it’s someone from the bureau.� JJ replied in a very conspiratorial voice.

“Really?� Emily smiled. “Who is it? I bet it’s this guy from the fifth floor. He has a crush on you for almost a year now. What’s his name?�

“Peter� JJ answered. “Peter Bexter. I wouldn’t have thought of him, but now that you mentioned it… Weren’t the two of you on a date some months ago.�

“Were you?� Derek asked and gave her a questioning look.

“No, we weren’t� Penelope frowned. “and it’s not him.�

“Come on, Pen, tell us who it is!� JJ begged.

Fortunately the waitress served the meals so that JJ forgot about the issue for a while. Derek had been a little concerned that this wouldn’t go the way he’d planned it to go. But now everything seemed just like he’d pictured it to be. After dinner, that was the plan. The rest of the team should relax a little first.

After the waitress had cleaned their table Derek stood up and went directly on the stage grabbing the microphone.

“Oh, no, I was afraid of that.� Emily murmured.

JJ leaned over to her and whispered: “As long as he doesn’t want to make us sing!�

“Good point!� Emily replied.

“Okay, this is going to be a duet.� Derek explained. “So I hope my girl won’t let me down now. Come up here, baby girl.�

Penelope blushed slightly and shook her head. But she stood up, walked onto the stage and took a microphone as well. “Which song?� she whispered.

“One that will tell them.� Derek smiled. “Don’t worry, sugar, I know you know it by heart.�

When the music started Penelope smiled at him. He’d picked one of her favorites.

My love,
There’s only you in my life
The only thing that’s bright

Emily’s jaw dropped when Derek Morgan began to sing. She leant over to JJ and whispered: “Did you know that he can sing?�

JJ just shook her head staring at the man on the stage even more stunned than Emily was. And when Penelope set in JJ stopped breathing for a moment. She hadn’t known her best friend had such a beautiful voice.

My first love,
You’re every breath that I take
You’re every step I make

JJ’s smile grew even wider when they both sang. They were a beautiful couple not only on that stage singing this duet.

And I
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...

And your eyes
They tell me how much you care
Ooh yes, you will always be
My endless love

Emily looked at Hotch and was surprised to see a wide smile on his face while he was watching the singing couple. She looked at Derek and Penelope who were holding each other’s hands now, their eyes locked. Then she looked back at Hotch and suddenly the realization hit her like a bolt from the blue. Her jaw almost hit the ground.

Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun

And forever
I’ll hold you close in my arms
I can’t resist your charms

Now Emily smiled, too. How could she have missed something so obvious? The eyes of her two co-workers clearly portrayed their feelings for each other. Suddenly she realized the differences she had witnessed but not really seen during the past weeks – or even months? The hidden touches, the glances they had given each other… Emily frowned a little. How could she be a good profiler if she’d missed the fact that two of her co-workers, the people she spent almost everyday with, the people who’d become her friends were an item? Maybe it was because they didn’t profile each other unless a case demanded it. Or maybe because it was about Morgan and Garcia, the always flirting couple.

And love
I’ll be the fool
For you,
I’m sure
That you know I don’t mind
you’ll be the only one
cause no one can deny
This love I have inside
And Ill give it all to you
My love
My endless love

When Penelope and Derek returned to the table JJ punched her friend slightly.

“Ouch� Penelope rubbed her shoulder. “what was that for?�

“For not telling us!� JJ explained.

Derek put his arm around Penelope’s waist and smiled at her.

“Yeah, why haven’t you two ever mentioned that you can sing?� Spencer asked.

“Exactly� JJ nodded. “how could you withhold something like that from us?�

Hotch and Emily frowned while Derek and Penelope stared first at one another and then at JJ and Spencer.

“Wow, how did you two get a job in the BAU?� Emily rolled her eyes.

“Why?� JJ gave the rest of the team a puzzled look. Then she glanced at Derek and Penelope, saw his arm around her, remembered the expression on their faces during the duet… “Oh, my God.� JJ shrieked and hugged Penelope excitedly. “That’s so great.� she smiled and hugged Derek as well.

“What?� Spencer asked still puzzled. It seemed to him he’d missed something of great importance – once again.

Derek groaned and rolled his eyes. He knew that Spencer was a little slow on the uptake but could he really be that backward? Derek grinned as he had an idea how he’d make even a Spencer Reid understand what was the point. He grabbed Penelope, pulled her close and gave her a long passionate kiss.

Now Spencer’s jaw dropped, too. Then he smirked and murmured: “Finally.�

The End