Title: Healing
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Table: Time
Prompt for 10 I love you: #5 Never
Rating: T, very much ;)
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 5/10 of the Chicago series.
warnings: none
Derek’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. Had he understood her right? She wanted him to get in the shower? What was the point of that? And more importantly, why hadn’t she just told him to go? She didn’t plan on… Derek felt a lump forming in his throat, and his heart started to beat faster.
When Derek didn’t react, just continued to stare at her, Penelope turned to him and tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Get in the shower,” she repeated.
He opened his mouth to object, but reconsidered it. He had to admit that he wanted to do whatever Penelope had in mind. He’d already tried everything that usually made him feel better; drinking, women, more drinking. But her touch was the only thing that really helped.
Penelope heard the rustling of clothes, and then the shower curtain being pushed aside. Taking a deep breath, she started to unbutton her blouse. This was absolutely crazy. She and Derek were far from close enough for this.
But all she could think of was Derek saying that he couldn’t wash this feeling off, and how desperate he had sounded. Penelope would do anything to make it better. So she took another deep breath and followed him into the shower.
Carefully, Penelope closed the curtain behind her. For a moment, she didn’t dare turn around and look at Derek. How long had she dreamed of seeing his perfect body without all those annoying clothes keeping her view away from his delicious skin?! She’d never thought she would get this chance, ever.
However, Penelope was anxious, nervous, afraid even. She was afraid Derek would reject her. Mostly, she was afraid of the expression on his face when he saw her. Taking another deep breath, Penelope finally found the heart to turn around. Derek had turned his back towards her, for which she was grateful, but, dear Lord, was this man beautiful!
Her hands were shaking as she reached for the sponge, but then she reconsidered it. She might never get a chance to touch him again; she simply couldn’t let it pass.
“Let me help you wash this off,” she whispered and waited for Derek to nod before she started with his shoulders.
This had to be the most awkward situation she’d ever been in. They were certainly closer than Penelope had ever been to any man, and they both trusted each other more than they trusted anyone else in the world. This was different, though. No matter how much they loved each other, they were far from being anything like an item. Being close to him like this was simply awkward, and Derek must have felt the same. Penelope could feel his whole body tense as she started to touch him.
When Derek heard the shower curtain being pushed aside, his first intention was to turn around. He wanted to hold Penelope close to him, smell her, taste her, feel her as close as humanly possible, and he wanted to finally see her, after all these years of merely dreaming.
But he knew about her insecurities, and he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. This situation was awkward enough. Why would she do this, anyway? It’s not like they had crossed any line that had defined them as more than just friends. Both of them sharing a shower just seemed… inappropriate.
Derek’s body tensed when he felt her soft hands brushing over his shoulder. Not because he didn’t want her to touch him, but because he wanted it too much. Her hands felt better than he’d ever imagined. This feeling of dirt and disgust that had, for days now, had ahold of him, gave way to the pleasant tingle her hands left wherever they came into contact with his skin. It didn’t take long for Derek to relax under Penelope’s touch.
How could he have doubted that she’d be able to help him, that she was the cure to all his ills? She was his God-given solace. Nothing had helped until now, but her touch made all those feelings vanish; and Derek wanted more, much more, of it. The urge to turn around and finally be able to touch her as well became almost overwhelming.
Penelope was relieved when she finally felt Derek relax, because it meant he wasn’t entirely uncomfortable anymore. She let her hands run further down his body, cherishing every moment. She almost felt sorry when she was finished.
“Better?” she whispered.
Derek nodded. Yeah, he felt better, much better. But he didn’t want her to stop. He wanted to turn around, pull her close to him, and let his need take control.
“Turn around.” It was somewhere between a question and a command.
Derek closed his eyes and obeyed willingly. Only a second later, he felt Penelope’s hands wandering over his chest, touching every muscle, every spot, and he could hardly repress a moan. He tried to think of something else to keep his control, but it was pointless.
When her hands moved over his stomach, Derek couldn’t quite stop his body from reacting to her touch. He wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed, or just abandon himself to the indescribable things her touch made him feel.
Penelope divested him of having to make that decision. Only a second later, Derek saw little stars explode behind his eyes. Penelope was making one of his wildest dreams come true.
The world around him stopped revolving, and suddenly, there was only Derek and his Goddess. Derek had always quite vividly remembered what it had been like to be touched by Buford, but he knew that after tonight, all he would remember was what it was like to be touched by Penelope.
When Penelope realized Derek was not at all uncomfortable at the moment, she was shocked, and then flattered. It made her feel proud that she had such an effect on him, and she simply couldn’t resist. If her touch had this effect on him, why not taking the chance? She wanted to taste him, even if it was just this one time “ and he tasted better than she’d ever imagined.
“Baby…” was all he could whisper before she sent him to heaven.
It took him a while to come back to earth. When Derek opened his eyes, he saw that Penelope was about to leave. What did that mean? How could she just disappear after what they’d just done?!
Penelope couldn’t believe she had really done that. Not that she regretted it, but… it was simply wrong. Derek didn’t feel that way about her; he was just vulnerable and needed someone “ and she had shamelessly taken advantage of him. Considering the way she had touched him, it was no wonder he’d been aroused. She needed to get out of the shower before things got even more embarrassing.
“Where do you think you’re going?” She heard his voice behind her, still a little out of breath.
“Derek, I…” she tried.
“Turn around!” he commanded. She had seen him, touched him, tasted him “ and he finally wanted to take his chance with her.
Slowly, Penelope turned around. It took all her self-discipline not to shake too vigorously. But she didn’t dare looking at him. She just couldn’t stand the look in his eyes.
“Come back to me,” Derek whispered, reaching out for her. “I want to return the favor.”
Penelope stared at him in shock, but she didn’t get a chance to object. Derek grabbed her hand and pulled her body close to his. She couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through her body. Her blood was whooshing in her ears, and she thought she was about to faint.
Derek gently made her lean against the wall and started to run his hands over her body just as she’d done before. His heart skipped a beat when he heard her moan and felt her writhe under his touch.
This wasn’t happening. It simply couldn’t be. Everything seemed surreal to Penelope. She’d dreamed about this moment for years, always knowing it would never happen; and now it was. Derek Morgan was pleasing her, and the man so knew what he was doing. This was better than any dream about him she’d ever had, and to keep herself from screaming his name, she had to bite her lip so hard it started to bleed.
Smiling, Derek stood back up and pulled the still-shaking Penelope into his arms. He lifted her head and gently kissed her lips. His heart stopped beating for a moment at the feeling of her soft lips against his. It was odd that this was their first kiss, considering what they’d just done. But nonetheless, it was perfect.
Penelope sighed happily and melted into the kiss. It was soft and full of love and simply perfect; and it soon became more passionate.
“I need you,” Derek panted as he leaned down to nibble her neck. “I want you so badly.”
He turned off the water and pulled her with him, but Penelope resisted. After all, this was his mother’s house, and she was certainly not yet asleep. The last thing Penelope wanted was to meet Derek’s mother in the corridor, wearing nothing but a necklace.
“My mom’s downstairs.” Derek smirked and pulled Penelope back against him. “She won’t see us.”
“I don’t know…” Besides, leaving their clothes here would have caused more problems.
Grinning, Derek grabbed both piles of clothes and took Penelope’s hand again. “Come on, now! I want you in my bed.”
Before Penelope could argue anymore, Derek had thrust their clothes into her hand, lifted her up, and was carrying her back to his room. Gently, he laid her down on his bed and took in the sight of her. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, crawling up next to her.
Penelope still couldn’t believe this was really happening, but it was absolutely perfect. Derek was the perfect gentleman, and his talent exceeded all her expectations. She had never felt the things he was making her feel.
“Are you okay?” he whispered, his voice filled with love and a hint of concern.
“I’ve never been better,” Penelope replied honestly, looking up at Derek.
He smiled and studied her eyes for a moment before he leaned in to kiss her. “Same here,” he said thankfully. “I… still can’t believe you did all that for me.”
“Well, it’s not like I offered a big sacrifice.” She smiled and laid her head back onto his chest. His heartbeat was still a little fast, and the memory of what had caused that made a shiver run down her spine. “I… I never thought it could be like that.”
“Me neither,” he replied honestly, wrapping his arms closer around her.
That thought filled Derek with pride and regret at the same time. She was a goddess, and this was the treatment she deserved. A man who didn’t know how to touch her the right way and make her feel like a goddess simply didn’t deserve her.
Suddenly, Derek felt a mixture of anger and jealousy towards the former men in Penelope’s life. He wanted to be the one and only man in her life. No other man deserved her. Maybe he didn’t either, but she had chosen him. Tonight, she had made him hers “ and he wanted things to stay that way.
For a moment, they just enjoyed the feeling of being in each other’s arms. Then Derek’s voice broke the silence. “I love you, Penelope, more than I ever loved any woman. I never thought I could feel this way, and I… No one was ever capable of doing what you did for me tonight. Buford’s finally gone. I can’t feel his touch anymore, only yours. And I know that I could never spend my nights with any other woman again. I love you.”
When she didn’t answer, Derek looked down at her and realized she was peacefully asleep in his arms. Smiling, he wrapped his arms closer around her and closed his eyes, knowing that tonight, for the first time in months, there would be no nightmare to haunt him.