"Morgan, there's been an accident." Those had been the last coherent words Morgan's brain had let filter through before it shut down that region. He had been able to rush from the room with the others following closely behind him, and they had been able to keep him from driving himself to the hospital, so his body was 'functioning' but he wasn't speaking or responding to the conversations going on around him. Even after they had arrived at the hospital Garcia and Lynch had been rushed to, Morgan was just going through the motions. Hotchner took the lead and questioned the doctors and nurses about Garcia's prognosis as Morgan sat stoically in the waiting area with the others.
"They said that Garcia and Kevin Lynch are both in surgery right now," Hotch stated as he returned to the group and took a seat in the empty chair across from Morgan, and watched him with worry in his eyes.
"Well did they give you any details about what happened, where they were when it happened?" Prentiss asked still stunned by the whole ordeal.
"No but Strauss was able to fill in the details apparently Garcia and Lynch were involved in a car accident. Some poor kid, who just got his license, was out joyriding, ran a red light at the intersection Lynch was driving through. The truck the teenager was driving struck the passenger side of Lynch's car. The teenager was killed instantly."
"But why was Garcia even with Lynch, last she told me he wasn't speaking to her." Prentiss continued to question.
"Witnesses at the scene said that they had just had lunch at Nate's diner right before the accident happened, so maybe they've made amends or at least was trying to," Hotch replied.
"Did they say how bad Garcia is, and the…baby?" Reid asked hesitantly as he eyed Morgan, the same as everyone else did at his question. Hotch simply shook his head no. Morgan swiftly stood and stalked from the room and out the exit, Prentiss stood to follow him but Hotchner stopped her.
"I'll go," Was all he said as he followed Morgan's trek outside. He found Morgan near the corner of the building, to the right of the entryway. He could tell by the way his head was bowed against the brick wall and how his shoulders shook that Morgan was sobbing. He also knew how Morgan never liked to have anyone, except maybe Garcia, to see him so vulnerable. "Morgan," Hotchner call out gently to the younger man, but if Morgan heard him he made no outward indications that he had. "Morgan," He called to him again but this time he placed his hand upon Morgan's back, which caused Morgan to snap his head up and lock his red, wet eye onto his boss.
"She can't die Hotch," He said through his sobs, not caring to wipe the tears that wet his face or the snot that dribbled from his nose. "Not after everything we've gone through, not when we're so close…If she dies I'll be lost…" He turned his body completely around and rested his back upon the brick building and let his head fall back against it as his eyes looked heavenward. "And I will never forgive you…not like I forgave you for taking my father and my mother, and I only forgave you that because of 'her'." He shook his head as he sneered at the sky. "Don't take her from me, don't you fucking dare…please, please don't," His angry words to God dissolved into pitiful pleas for mercy. "Don't take her from me, please God." He wailed and Hotch did something completely out of character for him, he wrapped his arms around the broken man before him, and in turn, Morgan did something out of character for him he welcomed the embrace and clung to Hotchner.
"Morgan, listen to me Penelope is a fighter, we all know this. She's gonna pull through this, you have to believe that." At that moment Prentiss rushed up behind them.
"Garcia just made it out of surgery," She said in a huff and Morgan pulled from Hotch's arms and all three raced back inside.
Morgan had stayed glued in the seat he had moved close to Garcia's bedside, watching her chest rise and fall. The doctor said that given the extent of the damage to both cars and the injuries to the teenage driver who had died and Lynch, who was in a coma and on a ventilator, Garcia's surviving with superficial scrapes and bruises and some internal bleeding, was nothing short of a miracle. Even still Morgan kept vigil at her bedside too afraid to leave or close his eyes, even though they burn for sleep. He was just so scared that if he closed his eyes for anything longer than a blink she would slip away from him, in his mind's eye the only thing that was keeping her anchored to this earth was his eye, watching her every breath.
"Hey, how's our girl?" A familiar feminine voice filled the room and he turned to where JJ stood near the foot of the bed.
"The doctor says she's fine, there was some internal bleeding and hemorrhaging, that they fixed in surgery, but that was hours ago and she still hasn't woken up or moved at all," Morgan answered as he locked his eyes back onto Garcia's chest.
"Just the body's way of healing, she'll wake up soon I'm sure. Here I brought you some coffee." She held out the steaming cup.
"Thanks," He said as he grasped the cup and then placed it on the bedside table beside the other two cups that had been brought to him, which were both full of coffee that were now cold.
"If you need to take a break, I'll sit with her." JJ offered even though she already knew what the answer was going to be. He only shook his head no as one of the night shift nurses, a black woman in her mid to late 50s, entered the room to check Garcia's vitals as they did every hour. "The baby, did the baby survive?" JJ asked Morgan but it was the nurse who replied.
"No, that precious little angel is in heaven now, with God." RN Jackson said as she wrote some stats onto Garcia's chart, and both Morgan and JJ locked their eyes on her. "But Ms. Garcia is young though and Lord knows she's strong given what she survived, so she can have more children someday."
"Wha…" A low scratchy voice startled them all, and they looked at Garcia who was staring up at the nurse standing over her, with one clear eye and one eye that had black and blue bruises on the skin surrounding her right eye socket, which housed a bloody red eye due to broken blood vessel in the eye.
"Hey, sleeping beauty has finally decided to join us," Morgan spoke out as he leaned closer and grasped her hand, which he was already holding, more firmly within both of his.
"Wha…what is she saying about the baby," Garcia asked as her eyes locked onto Morgan. "What happened…is the baby ok?" She became frantic causing her blood pressure to spike.
"I'll go get the doctor," Nurse Jackson said as she hurried from the room shamefaced.
"Shh…shh, calm down baby, it's ok…it's all gonna be ok," Morgan spoke softly trying to calm her down as JJ moved to the other side of the bed and grasped her other hand, knowing that she would need the support when she learned the truth about her baby.
"Is the baby ok?" She asked as she pulled her hands free from their grasp, and ignored Morgan's coddling which would usually work. Morgan was at a loss for words. He hadn't allowed himself to think about the baby they had lost, and now he found that he couldn't speak about the baby either.
"Penelope," JJ stepped in seeing Morgan's struggle. "You were in a car accident."
"No…no….no, no, no," Garcia began to sob out as her face crumbled and tears sprang to her eyes while she shook her head from side to side.
"I am so sorry, sweetie," JJ added as she placed a hand on Garcia's right shoulder.
"No!" Garcia screamed shrugging off both their touches as she bolted up a bit from where she lay against the pillows and pulled at the wire and tubes she was hooked up to. Morgan jumped from his seat to calm her down and stop her actions, just as the doctor and two nurses entered the room. "I want my baby!"
"What happened?" The doctor asked as he moved to her IV line and injected a sedative from the needle he held in his hand.
"One of your nurses got her upset," Morgan stated as he cast a hard glare at Nurse Jackson who silently stood to the side avoiding his gaze.
"Please, please don't take my baby," Garcia continued to sob as she reached out and grabbed the other nurse's hand. "Please don't take my baby." She continued to cry as she fell back against the pillows, the sedative quickly taking effect. "Please…please…ple…"
"Hey, how's she doing?" Prentiss asked as she stood from her seat in the waiting area, upon seeing Morgan walk in. Reid and JJ who were also there waiting, both stood from their seats as well.
"She's still out of it," Morgan said with a tired sigh as he moved to the vending machine in the corner, to look for something packed with sugar to help restore his energy.
"Why don't we go down to the cafeteria for some real food?" JJ said.
"You obviously haven't eaten any of this hospital's food," Morgan said as the candy bar he had selected fell from its station. He bent and retrieved the 'PayDay' bar.
"It is rather bad," Reid agreed.
"Ok, then why don't you can I go out and pick up something for everyone, my treat." JJ directed to Reid. "What are you guys in the mood for, Chinese, Mexican, Indian food?"
"I don't care," Morgan said as his shoulders slumped. He realized he didn't have much of an appetite, not even for the candy bar he still held unopened in his hands.
"Me either, whatever you pick is fine, you guys go ahead and I'll stay and Morgan can keep me company," Prentiss announced and with a nod, JJ and Reid left out. "You don't mind keeping me company for a bit do you?" She asked as she retook her seat.
"Naw," Morgan answered as he moved and flopped down in the seat beside Prentiss'. He slouched back and let his head fall back against the wall and allowed his eyes to drift shut. "They've got babygirl so drugged she'll probably be out for a while."
"JJ said that she took the miscarriage hard."
"She was devastated, I have never seen her like that, and I didn't know what to do, I felt so fucking helpless," Morgan said as he turned his head towards Prentiss and stared at her.
"And how about you, are you ok?"
"I'm just worried about her. Honestly, I haven't thought about the baby. All the praying I've been doing has all been for 'her'. I guess that shows what kind of father I would have been, right." He asked he gave a laugh in disgust.
"You would have been and someday will be a wonderful father Derek. You've just been so focused on making sure that Garcia is ok that your mind hasn't allowed room for anything else."
"No, that wasn't it, I just don't care." He said around a sad smile and Prentiss tilted her head and opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "I really don't care. I don't care that our baby died, I didn't care that that kid driving the other car died, I don't care if Lynch dies, so long as she's ok," He noticed the peculiar look that she was giving him. "What?"
"Kevin died about a half hour ago from his injuries, that's why Hotch and Rossi aren't here right now they're back at the office trying to track down family members so they can be notified."
"I'm one heartless, selfish bastard," He said bowing his head a bit. "You're sitting here telling me that one of our co-workers has died. A man we both were very acquainted with, a man that 'I' did dirty by cheating him out of his ladylove, and all I can think is, 'better him than her."
"C'mon Morgan you know what this is, how this goes," She spoke as she leaned forward some to be at eye level with her friend. "This is just grief and probably a little shock too. Your life has been turned upside down, no one is going to fault you for feeling outta of it for a while."
"Agent Morgan," A voice called from the doorway capturing both their attention. "You wanted to know when your fiancée woke up." The young nurse spoke softly and both Morgan and Prentiss hurriedly stood from their seats. Morgan moved to leave but stopped when he realized Prentiss wasn't moving.
"You go ahead, get some one-on-one time with Garci, I'll wait here and let JJ and Reid know what's going on. We'll all stop by later." Prentiss said convincingly, but the truth was that she was nervous about seeing Garcia, afraid she'd say the wrong thing or do something that might upset her more. "But give her my love." Morgan nodded and then made his way back to Garcia's room.
He stood in the corridor just outside the room a moment and watched her through the opened blinds of her room window. She sat mostly upright with several pillows supporting her back. The TV had been turned on, but she wasn't watching it, she just sat staring straight forward at the beige wall across the way. There was a new nurse in the room with her, at her bedside charting her vitals. Morgan could hear the pretty young brunette trying to engage Garcia in small talk but Garcia only cut her eyes at the girl briefly, looking at her from head to toe before returning her gaze back to some unknown spot on the wall. He waited until the nurse exited the room, flashing him a bright smile as she passed him, before he entered, cautiously.
When she noticed him in the doorway she shot him the same look she had just given the nurse, almost as if she were sizing him up, but she wouldn't allow her eye to stay on him for long, they soon moved back to take up vigil on the wall.
"Hey," He spoke in a hushed tone as if speaking louder would set her off again. Not that it mattered because she didn't reply. "How are you feeling?" He asked and regretted it the second it was out of his mouth, and wanted to strangle his own neck when he saw the look on her face as she stared directly at him with an, 'are you fucking serious' expression. "I'm sorry that was a very stupid question…I…I just don't know what I'm supposed to say how I'm supposed to act," He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he remained rooted near the door. "I know I don't want to upset you so maybe I should just go." He suggested but took no steps towards the door.
"I don't want you to go," She finally spoke and her voice was a couple of decibels louder than his. "I'm sorry I spazzed out before,"
"No baby, no," He swiftly moved to her and fell to his knees at her bedside where he gripped her hands. "You have nothing to feel sorry for, none of this is your fault."
"Yes, it is," She argued as fresh tears sprang forth in her eyes. "If I had just taken the rain check that Kevin offered and had lunch with him another day…and I still had so much to do before the wedding…but he wanted to mend our fences, and I really wanted that too. I just felt like I had to take the olive branch he was offering me, especially after what I did to him…"
"What we did to him," Morgan quickly corrected her. "Baby no one blames you for the accident. And the kid who was at fault, well he lost his life too." Garcia clamped her right hand to her mouth and her left hand instinctually squeezed his a bit tighter.
"Oh no…and Kevin?" She asked hopefully but Morgan could only shake his head at the question. "Oh God…no." She sobbed quietly and this time Morgan didn't attempt to calm her he just held her hand in his and let her know that he was there offering her his shoulder to cry on and anything else she needed to help her get through.