"OK, let's go nice and slow," Morgan said as they crossed the threshold. He dropped her bag just inside the door and steered her further into the foyer. "Are you hungry…are you tired, you want to lie down?" He rambled off never taking his arms from around her, feeling that she needed the support.
"I think I need to lie down for a while," Garcia answered honestly. She found that even the slightest activity drained her.
"Ok," He maneuvered her towards the downstairs bedroom they had taken as their own, but she stopped him.
"I'm gonna need more pillows than what we have on our bed, could you go grab more from the bedrooms upstairs?"
"Sure, you want to rest on the couch, or…"
"I'll just wait here for you."
"Are you sure?" She nodded in reply. "OK, you stay put." He commanded as he pointed a finger at her, and then bounded up the stairs. She only waited long enough for him to round the corner before she moved, and headed for the room that she had had fantasies and nightmares about throughout her two-week stay in the hospital. When she finally reached the door she rested her hand on the doorknob for a brief moment to prepare herself mentally and emotionally. From the second Morgan had brought her into the room she had started imagining a sweet homecoming, that wondrous day when they would bring their baby home from the hospital. In a split second, that dream had been shattered. She clamped her eyes shut to try and banish that thought from her mind. She tried to calm down by reminding herself that Kevin as well as a 17-year-old boy had died, and she wasn't the only one to have lost in this situation. One of the nurses had even said to her that 'technically' her 'fetus' her son as the doctor had informed her, was not considered 'viable', but it just made her scream inside, 'He was viable to me, God Dammit!'. She opened the door to the nursery and once again her world crumbled around her. She slowly stepped inside the bare room. Gone were all the furnishings and toys, and the walls had been stripped of their pictures and even the paint. This time she didn't even try to contain her tears as she had been doing all day.
"Hey, I thought I told you to stay put," Morgan stood just behind her in the doorway with a frown on his face, which vanished from his face the instant she turned and looked at him.
"What did you do…why…where…" She could barely get the words out over her sobs. He quickly moved to her with the intent of wrapping her inside his hands, but she just as quickly stepped back away from him. He stopped his advances seeing that they were not welcome. "How could you. You took away all of his things like he never existed?"
"Naw baby that's not why I cleared everything out I just thought it would be better for you if…"
"Better for me, better for me," She repeated as she turned a bit and let her eyes scan the room some more. "Do I look better to you Derek?" She asked as she stared directly at him now with red, wet eyes.
"I'm sorry baby I thought…I was just trying to help make this transition easier for you."
"I lost my baby Derek, 'our' baby that's never going to be an easy thing for me and I'm never, ever going to feel 'better' about it." She spat the last part out at him as her face twisted up in disgust that he had even said such a thing to her. "Do me a favor please just stop trying to make things better and easy, and stop trying to fix this because you can't, you can't" She sobbed out and then moved through the open door that adjoined what was the nursery to their bedroom, and slammed it closed behind her.
He stood in the opened door staring at her still frame which was curled up on their bed. He knew she wasn't sleeping just like she knew he was standing there, at her back watching her. She hadn't heard him move, didn't know he had until the CD player started up with a song, and then she felt the dip in the bed. They lay there quietly as the crooning of John Legend filled the room.
I'll dry your eyes. Fulfill your heart's desire.
Let's go in. Try again.
Careful this time. Broken promises linger in our mind.
I'll give in completely. Hearts break so easy.
I know. Believe me. Oh, I've tried.
But my arms can hold you. My kiss console you.
I'll come and Love you tonight.
[Chorus:]
And I...
I love, I love, I love
Love hurts sometimes
But this feels right.
You...
You love, you love, you love
Though you've been burned
You still return.
Her eyes fell closed when she felt his fingers brush her hair back from her face and his lips brush against her cheek. When she didn't pull away or tell him to leave her alone, Morgan molded his body with hers and draped his arm across her waist. Garcia's eyes immediately zoomed in on his hand which held the frog that he had brought for their baby, and the corners of her mouth tugged upward as she reached out and took the stuffed animal from his hands.
I'd love to give to you.
Aren't you tired of going along this lonely road'
It takes it's toll on you.
Give me your emotion, your heart's devotion.
Give anything you like.
And I'll give understanding. Life's so demanding.
I'm all you need to get by.
[Chorus:]
And I...
I love, I love, I love
Love hurts sometimes
But this feels right.
And You...
You love, you love, you love
Though you've been burned
You still return.
"I didn't get rid of his things, I just moved them into one of the upstairs bedroom," Morgan announced speaking in a hushed tone his lips brushing her earlobe as he spoke. "I figured we could always use everything…later…you know if…if you wanted to try again." Garcia turned in his arms and lay in a prone position as she stared up at him in surprise, her eyes holding hope. "I mean if you wanted to, whenever…" She smiled and clutched the toy to her chest with one hand and reached up and cupped his face lovingly with the other.
"I do want to," She said as she nodded her head. "As soon as the doctor gives the ok I want to try and get pregnant again." Morgan leaned over and kissed her forehead and then smiled down at her.
"OK, but only when the doctor says it's ok." He said in an authoritative tone and she hurriedly nodded her head again in agreement.
"Thank you," She said as she moved in and captured his lips in a chaste kiss. She pulled back but he grasped her face and pulled her back to his mouth for a more sensual kiss that was slower and softer. And there they lay until the sun disappeared behind the horizon and the stars graced the sky; holding on to each other and talking about their future wedding and the big family they both wanted a conversation with interludes of stolen kisses.
Love hurts sometimes
But this feels right.
And You...
You love you love you love
Though you've been burned
You still return.
Still return
Still return to love (Oh)
Keep coming back to love (Ah oh)
['I Love You, Love' From John Legend's new album, 'Evolver']
[The End]